Romans 8:26-39: Caring Through Disagreement

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:26-39

The worst sort of accusation is the charge of doing the right thing-when the right thing for the right reasons looks wrong. There are people who are advantaged by the fact that you look wrong. There are people who never look deeper than the appearances and make a snap judgment from which you must dig your way out. I remember when we had to dismiss someone from their very public role, I received notes and phone calls and was pulled aside for private chastisement. Because of the situation, I couldn't defend myself and it was hurtful when people who I thought of as friends and people I respected could not take, "Trust us, it is the right decision, but I can't tell you more." as an answer.

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things?" There is a point where you can do nothing and say nothing and must trust God when he says the same sort of things to me: "Trust me, it is the right decision, but I can't tell you more." Ultimately, God is the judge who will see through all  secrets. But trusting that is tough. 

The one thing I recognize now is that I did not add caring into my response. In these verses, God is careful to tell us "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" Trust is difficult if you don't really know how someone cares about you and in my situations before, my disagreements with people led me to withhold caring. But if I am to follow Jesus, care must extend through any disagreement.

John 2:24: Full Disclosure?

Impressions are vitally important in the Church, it seems. We must make sure that people think we are spiritual, or at least desirous of being spiritual. We want them to believe our families are attaining all the right goals and ideals. We hope that people see us as if we have it together in our marriages, our jobs, and most of all in our walk with Christ.. - Pastor Craig Miller[1]

The acronym TMI tells me that I am sharing Too Much Information-details not appropriate for the situation or audience. Sometimes things come out of my mouth that members of my family wished were not a part of public discourse. Maybe it is about them. Or maybe it is about me that makes them question if their is (or should be) a familial connection.

Why? Because we want to control how other people perceive us and some "information" gives people the wrong impression. We (or, at least, I) want people to think that I am smart, compassionate, and in touch with modern culture. This is impression management - "a self-crafted means of getting others to believe what we want them to believe about us — but not necessarily believing what’s true."[2]

Not just for the insecure or precipitously famous, impression management is a skill that we all develop because we quickly learn that people react to you based on what they see rather than who you are.

We can see this in marriages. Vernon Edmonds used the term marriage conventionalization: "The extent to which a person distorts the appraisal of his marriage in the direction of social desirability."[3] That is, how hard does each spouse work to create the impression that you have the marriage that everyone else expects you have.

So there is this tension between, on one hand, wanting to be authentic with people and, on the other, knowing that not everyone can be trusted. One only has to remember what was repeated inadvertently by our kids in public. Church people can be a tough crowd because they have a whole other set of expectations. Even Jesus dealt with this tension:

But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. - John 2:24

Keeping a close watch on him, they sent spies, who pretended to be sincere. They hoped to catch Jesus in something he said... - Luke 20:20a 

Ok. That makes me feel a little better. Why? Because they barely knew him. They weren't committed to him or, worse, were actively against him. Disclosure is tied to trust. Later, when he had spent three years with a group of twelve guys apprenticed to him, he finally said:

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. - John 15:15

Even then, it hurt, because one sold him out, one denied him and the rest abandoned him in fear. But Jesus established circles of disclosure: the three (Peter, James, John), the twelve, the seventy-two (Luke 10), and then the crowd. In each circle, Jesus is authentic but not exhaustively so. The transfiguration is for the three (Matthew 17); his high-priestly prayer (John 17) for the twelve, his commission (Luke 10) for the seventy-two; the parables for the crowd.

Why? Jesus spoke what was necessary for those who heard, at the time they were ready to hear it. 

Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. - Matthew 7:6

Often Jesus would tell a story to one group, but only give the detailed explanation to his disciples. Again, authentic disclosure, but different levels of disclosure.

How does this work in life?

1. Speak with purpose. Your life story is meant to be used for God's glory. Not for yours.
2. Speak truth, but only as much as will make sense, given the listener's familiarity with your character and life situation.
3. Speak with compassion. Are you practicing hearing your words as if you were them?

I'm still working on how this works out and have that my modeling of another person's situation is often flawed so that what I intended for good is sometimes useless or even harmful. This is humbling and makes me grateful for the insight and words given by the Spirit of God to translate my good intentions into words that match.

[1] Pastor Craig Miller, The Road to Wholeness Is Blocked By Good Impressions, The Village Pastor (blog), https://gbcvillagepastor.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-road-to-wholeness-is-blocked-by.html, retrieved on May 7, 2017
[2] John Ortberg, The Life You've Always Wanted, Zondervan (2002)
[3]Vernon H Edmonds, Marital Conventionalization: Definition and Measurement, Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 29, No. 4 (Nov., 1967), pp. 681-688

If I Could Tell You One Thing...Introduction (Matthew 6:33)

(these are my notes for the introductory message at the Cornerstone Family Camp)

 

You are picked up off the street, brought down to the police station in the back of a black and white squad car. After taking inventory of what was in your pockets and taking your picture, you are one phone call. Better make the right choice.

 

When Helen and I thought we were about to head to the Philippines as missionaries I called my high-school English teacher, who was a Christian. About to retire, she had encouraged me so much. I wanted so much to let her know about what was happening in my life!

 

Here it is. This place. This evening. My channel. If I could tell you one thing, what would it be? We are going to unpack that question of “the one thing” over the next few days. But if I could tell you one thing, tonight, here it is: Trust God.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. - Matthew 6:33

Jesus tells us, in his most famous sermon, to seek God first. If you just walked up to someone on the street and told them, "You know, you should really put God first in your life." you are likely to get a variety of puzzled responses, ranging from "God who?" to "I'm doing all right on my own right now" More telling, though, are those people whose response is some variety of: "If I really got to know God well, would I like him?" Is God good? Does God really have my best interests at heart? Is it worth finding out the question to that answer?

That's part of the reason God put down the good, the bad and the ugly of his relationships with people in the Bible. If you compare the Bible with any other work of "religious" writings, you will notice that (a) the people are pretty messed up and (b) God deals with them in a straight-forward manner. That's a 2,000 - 3,000 year track record. Why? Because he want's us to seek him first. And if we are going to seek him, we are going to have to trust him.

 

From the survey that folks filled out before this camp:

“If I could tell my friend one thing about God, it would be that He will never disappoint you and He is the only one who won’t. Let yourself trust in Him.”

 

“If I could tell my mom or dad one thing about parenting, it would be that…Let go and trust God in what He has begun. He will finish”

When Paul re-told the good news about Jesus to the people of Corinth, here's what he said:

For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures and that he appeared – 1 Cor. 15:3-5b

Notice that phrase: "according to the Scriptures" What Paul is referring to are all of the promises and prophecies in the 1st half of the Bible, talking about Jesus, his life, death and return from death. Why did he say that? Because God keeps his promises. Why is that important? Because God wants us to trust him. Paul goes on in that same chapter to describe how Jesus was seen by hundreds of people after he came back to life. Promises kept and verified.

 

When we were in Shonto, AZ, working among the Navajo, we were working up on 20 foot ladders, painting the trim on a mobile home. We would work in shifts of 2, one of us would hold the ladder and the other climbed up with the paint and the brush. I had Ryan Sullivan on my team and he was always saying to me “I’ve got your back.” You want God have your back. But you have to trust him.
 
You have to trust him in the three areas that Jesus mentioned in his sermon:  

1. You have to trust God that: You Are Loved
2. You have to trust God that: You Can Change.
3. You have to trust God that: You Have A Purpose. 

You Are Loved


Let's work backwards from the end of that verse:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. - Matthew 6:33

If you are going to seek God first; if you are going to put God as the top priority in your life, then you have to trust that God really loves you. You don't want to second guess God's opinion of you.

Earlier in his sermon, in Matthew, chapter 6, Jesus has gone through a laundry list of things that people worry about--food, shelter, clothing, personal safety--and says (vs. 32) “…your heavenly Father knows that you need them.” God knows that we need them, and Jesus reassures us in verse 33, that if we seek God first, he will take care of all of our needs.

It says: "all of these things". Not some of them--all of them.

Take a moment. Get out a pen and a piece of paper. We're going to construct a worry list. Before you came to camp today, you were worried about something. Maybe it was your job, or a money situation. Maybe it was a health situation. Maybe it was a relationship situation. Write them down. If there is something you're worried about that's not on the list, your list is too short.

That's part of the trust: can you place your livelihood and your safety into His hands? Do you trust God? Do you believe he knows what you really need? Do you believe that he will take care of them? Seek him first and all these things will be added. Why? Because God loves you.

 

You Can Change

 

“But seek first...his righteousness” – Matt. 6:33

 

You can trust God to change you. It says to seek first his righteousness. Inside you is a bubbling stew. It is bubbling because, when you trust God, and Jesus has paid your debt, he changes your insides, your want-to. But that changed inside still needs to work its way out and convince the rest of you, your attitudes, your habits and your behaviors, to get with the program.

 

Sometimes we want to short-cut the process, by saying that “the stew is good enough” or “it will get there anyway” Sometimes we want to renegotiate. When we say that we are saying that we really don’t want the kind of person that God is making us into, or that it is not worth it.

That's part of the trust: Am I willing to place my personality into his hands. God knows what kind of person you could be and God knows the kind of person you are now and God knows the best way to get you from point A to point B. He is less concerned about what things you can do than what kind of person you are. That's righteousness: turning you into the kind of person who does the right thing at the right time for the right reason.

 

You Have A Purpose

 

Seek first his kingdom... Matthew 6:33

 

You can trust God’s plan for your life. When we pray the Lord’s Prayer, what do we say at the very beginning: “Our Father, who is in heaven, holy is your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Did you catch that? God’s kingdom comes when what He wants happens here just like it already does in heaven.

 

We have had many examples in recent weeks of people who live in a kingdom; in a nation; but are actively working against it (Russian spies, Hutaree)

 

God’s kingdom advances, not with the shifting of political borders, but in the shifting of allegiance, the transformation of hearts; the step across the border from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. And when you have a ‘kingdom’ soul, the kingdom goes wherever you go. When you are with God, every place you go can become ground-zero for new life, for transformation.

 

But what about you? Did you spend so many years in school, so you could get a job, so you could work really hard, so you could retire, so you could die? Is that your purpose? Some people wish they could take it easy. Some people wish they could get some rest. But I want my life to count.

 

God wants to change the world one heart at a time. Not to make people crabby, self-righteous, pessimistic and socially awkward, but to make them into joyful, humble and fully alive. That is why you have a job. That is why you have a family. That is why you have neighbors and relationships and money.

Conclusion

 

God calls each one of us to seek him first. In order to do that, we have to trust God. It is not an easy thing.

 

Maybe it is hard for you to trust that God loves you, either because you don’t feel loveable, or because love has always been such a fickle, disappointing thing, or because God doesn’t seem real. That’s honest. But he has a remarkable track record of adopting new children and loving them.

 

Maybe it is hard for you to trust that God can change you. But he can. He created you. But don’t tell God “I’ll trust when you change so-and-sos heart” Ask him to work on your heart. On your attitudes.

 

Maybe it is hard for you to trust that God is taking you anywhere. Maybe your life seems aimless. But God has a plan and he delights in asking each one of us to take part with him, changing the world one heart at the time.

Is your heart ready to change? Maybe you haven't come to the point where you are ready to trust God. Let me ask you a question: what would it take for you to be convinced? Be honest. If that happened, are you ready to accept the consequences and seek God first? I warn you, don't answer my question unless you are ready to follow through. Because God "rewards those who earnestly seek Him" (Heb 11:6)

Make the choice. Trust God. Seek him first.