Wednesday, July 29, 2026

I Wish There Was Another Way, Chapter 5

We really didn't think much about it until Bevan showed up at the store the next morning, slightly abashed.

"Primer." he said simply.

"It's important." I agreed. "If you don't have it, especially on older houses, that siding just sucks in the paint and unevenly at that."

He paid with cash again, chatted pleasantly, and left.

Marble came out of the back, wiping her hands on a rag, "Who was that?"

"Bevan.  Came in yesterday to buy some paint. Paid in cash." 

"Huh." she reacted noncommitally and fished her water jug out of the under-counter fridge. "Well, I'm off to drop the contractor paint."

I was cautious, but I still asked. "So how was living back at home."

"Kinda weird. I think we're still trying to figure out how this is supposed to work. They are tiptoeing around me, trying not to treat me like a kid. But they are nice enough." She shrugged. "So I guess we're figuring each other out again."

"Do they have any other kids?"

"No. There are a few nieces and nephews from Amelia's sister. They are close enough to visit easily for birthdays and such, but too far for a casual drop-in-and-chat."

"So it is just the three of you."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"So," I cleared my throat. "I think that Bevan is a friend of your family's. I think he was asked just to keep an eye on the store."

"That would be in character for the family. Buy a house. Rent it out. Let the tenant know that you would like them to check in at this or that store." Marble commented. 

"Yeah, but what's weirder is this call I got last night." And I showed her the message I had written down on the pad next to the land line. 

She picked it up and read, "Vishy. Call about business for an old family residence." She held the note and looked closer. "That is strange. Or could be perfectly normal."

"Yeah, this whole business has got me second-guessing even normal phone calls. Anyway, let me give them a call." I said as I picked up the phone to dial. After speaking for a few minutes, I hung up and caught Marble's attention, which was taken in front-facing the end caps in the store. 

"That was Vishy. He wants to show me the family house that needs work. It's in an older part of town, down near the river. Can you hold down the store while I head out after lunch?"

"Sure."

------------------

I took off in the truck and arrived 15 minutes later in front of an older bungalow that say a few blocks from the city hall. Most of the other homes had been converted into professional offices, but here and there a few still had fences with brick pillar. The address I had been given was for a classic smaller design, pre-war, with heavy eaves, a simple roofline and porch that was actually big enough for two to sit comfortably and watch the street. 

Looking at Vishy when he opened the door, he looked like the typical engineer transplant. If this was his parent's house, they must have been a part of the first wave of tech workers that moved in 25 years ago. I knocked on the door and an elderly South Asian man, dressed in button-down short and beige slacks opened the door. "Yes?" he said.

"Hello...are you Vishy?"

"Are you Chad?" he replied.

"I am."

"Please, come in. Your...young friend isn't with you?"

"She is manning the store, so I said I'd come see what you've got." I looked around at the facade of the house. "Looks like you've got a classic here. 1920's? Seems like you've kept it in good shape."

"Yes, my parents bought this house when they first came here. Not the first owner. Now my mother lives with my sister and it is just me. Do come in." he gestured welcome into the darker interior of the house.

It was small inside, but in keeping with the period, there was a separate parlor with an over stuffed couch off the entrace, leading to a small dining room filled with an older table and brightly upholstered chairs. Steep steps of redwood curled up from a furnace grating to what I presumed was a attic bedroom. 

As I peered through the doors into two smaller bedrooms, a bathroom and the kitchen, each with the quirky details typical of the period: smaller rooms, pocket doors, built in ice box, and even some fancier bits like crown molding and chair rails. 

"What are you thinking about Mr....?" he had never shared his family name.

"Nijhawan," he supplied.

"Mr. Nijhawan. Older houses can be tricky, and lead paint remediation is often needed first."

He grimaced. "We dealt with the lead the last time we remodeled. I am planning to move out and we want to get this ready for some...relatives. Cousins who need a place to live. We have never met, but they did express a desire for a more modern look. But, to be honest, I don't know what a modern paint job would even look like."

I chuckled. "Well, that's a real challenge." I paused and thought. "Most of these older homes feel small and dark. One simple first step is to paint the lower part of the wall in a darker color and the upper part a lighter color. You can stop in at the store and we can send you home with some sample swatches."

Vishy nodded and we spent the next quarter of an hour walking through the individual rooms and discussing options. Then he paused for a second and then started up another topic. "There's one other thing. I wanted to discuss with you...or rather the girl at your store...about her peculiar background. I am aware of the school she was attending before and what that means. We-my family-have an interested in that school, mainly because of something we share in common. You see, my family has an unusual gift. Every fifth generation, going back to the region in India where my family comes from, there is a child who is born different. Others describe those children as vinta. Maybe you would say 'touched' or strange or different. But my family has know that these children are born with an awareness--a touch of the strange in their manners and speech even from the youngest age. We have always considered this as a type of rebirth. In recent years, they are diagnosed with mental fugue or some other name, but we--my family-- have always known it was the resurgence of an older soul-in dreams, visions and voices."

I wasn't quite what to say at that point. He was patient and watched as my face showed my minds whirling with possibilities. "That's very interesting, Mr. Nijhawan." I finally told him. "But I was given to understand that this mingling of personalities was problematic because of the warring within a single person's soul."

"I don't know what to tell you, Mr. Alfonso. My family does not have an answer. We have treated these vinta-these individuals--as confused but also as savants. Those that I am aware of cannot join normal society, and our journals show that they often choose a solitary life or at least a segregated, apart life. They are still our family, as strange as they are."

I spoke slowly, choosing my words carefully. "Are there any of that generation alive now?"

He shook his head. "There are more now, as the family has spread. But only a few of the fifth generation and none here The closest that I know of is in Wisconsin. He lives remotely- on an island in Lake Michigan. He is...he is my cousin's son." 

"How does he live? Can we visit him?" I asked, 

He held up his hand to stop me. "I will ask my cousin. He is family, but he can be wild and confusing and brilliant in ways that are profoundly troubling for my cousin. What would you ask of him?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "I would like for him to meet Marble, the young woman. She is rapidly approaching the time when she needs to make some decisions, and for this topic there isn't a lot of unbiased information. So much has been told her, but are they leaving her just one choice. Meeting someone outside would be reassuring as she makes that decision."

Vijay smiled and reached out his hand. "I understand. I will speak with my cousin and contact you one way or another."

I shook his hand and left to head back to the store, leaving a business card on the window sill.



 



Sunday, July 26, 2026

Matthew 13:31-52

Romans 8:26-39

Psalm 128

Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.

You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.

Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord.

May the Lord bless you from Zion; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

May you live to see your children’s children—peace be on Israel. - Psalm 128

Saturday, July 25, 2026

Haiku: August 5 - December 31 2025

Wind pushes the leaves
Framed by my kitchen window
Gray sky forecasts rain

Mind unsettled
But the new day has begun
Must get on with it.

The early birds trill
Otherwise the world is still
Wait! A mouse scampers.

Biting morning chill
When I stick my hand outside
Return to the warmth

One leaf turns her heard
One flower, cries of delight
What will she see next?

Night gathers troubles
A deep breath before I start
Tackle one by one.

If they don't see it
They walk past the road blindly
Do they really look?

Excitead they shift
They want to leave right away
Where are we going?

Woke at the same time
The hills outlined with a glow
Mornings are dark now.

Winter's breath is cold
Bites my nose outside the door
So go back in side!

Make morning coffee
Half tablespoon vanilla
Then milk to the rim.

Going the right way
Or just going in circles?
Can it be spirals?

Red leaves on the ground
Yellow leaves, wind-blown in trees
Grey clouds loom above

Yellow orange red
Leaves on trees splayed like hands
Welcoming the chill

Parking lot exit
A wave. Sign asking for help.
What is my real thought?

Geese fly overhead
Unenviable commute
To the north office

Birds chatter outside
First sun after the rain stopped.
Catching up with friends.

Christmas tree sculptures 
Illuminate our selfies.
Then the lights turned off.

In trail, leaves fell.
Littering the whole yard
With red and gold stems.

Rain puddles out front.
No dry path that I can walk
Wind keeps me aware

Want to walk today.
The rain biting in my face
Going back inside.

Surprise rain walking
Hiding under the fir tree
Surprise sun comes out.

Smell of bread rises
Greets me coming down the stairs.
Invites me to dine.

Bright car headlines shine.
Damp streets from yesterday's rain.
Leaves stain the pavement.

Slow but steady rain
From here to city and back.
Now outside its dark.

Yellow banana
Yellow squash in a basket
Cornucopia

Long rides through the air
Sleeping through the clouds and sky
Arriving at night.

Crows circle my head
Looking for a place to land.
In my crumpled hair.

Winter plants line paths.
Streams dotted with twirling white.
White egret soars by.

Did you sense I'm gone,
Half-awake in the morning?
Rolling to the warmth.

Too cold for a walk. 
Hands and ears and legs are burning.
House door inviting.

Shuffling, awake,
Fuzzy early morning thoughts.
Stumble out of bed.

Leaves of the boquet.
Litter the kitchen table.
Need to be renewed.

Sunrise to sunset.
Shadows inch close to the tree.
Hide, lengthen, then fade.

Song of the rain patter.
Makes me want to sleep again.
But shoes are outside.

Finches perched on branch
Waiting for the rain to stop.
Or food to appear.

Red in my windows.
Sunshine catches the morning clouds.
Don't open the door.

Bird silhouette strolls.
Across my morning walk's path
Walking unaware.

Hummingbird again.
Tries to sip winter flowers.
Leaves to try elsewhere.

Little Christmas tree.
Looks through the window and dreams
About the forest.

Sleep on empty days?
I wish but there's much to do.
Let out a deep sigh.

The sound of footsteps.
Either a mouse or a grown child.
Just one is louder.

I can see blue skies.
Through the leaves of tree branches.
Still yearning for leaves.

Week before New Year.
Left over Christmas regret.
Mixed with unclaimed cheer.

Lights pulse with music
Crowds pause to take their selfies.
Wander nighttime paths.


Tuesday, July 21, 2026

John 20:1-18: Premature Conclusions

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.

Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her. - John 20:1-18

One thing that strikes me in this story is how making premature conclusions prevent us from seeing what God is doing right in front of us. John and Peter and Mary went the tomb and had constructed whole narratives about what might have happened. Option "A" or "B" or "C" John and Peter ran to the tomb, saw that it was clearly empty, body missin, linen folded neatly but "They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead" Mary looked inside, saw two angels and then "saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus."  But she had Jesus right in front of her but still she asked  "if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him"

We (two thousand plus years later) take it for granted: Jesus rose from the dead. But "living" after being "dead" was not option "A" or "B" or "C" for them. It was so inconceivable that when they were adding up what had happened, they never reached the sum that equaled resurrection. Option "D" simply did not exist.

It is too simple to stop at this point and say that it was because they were not expecting Jesus alive so they kept filling in the blanks with anything but Jesus. What we need to ask is: what could God be putting right in front of us that we miss because we are cynical or too often disappointed or it is not how  God works? Am I so good at figuring out how things work but not how God works?

For me, it can be not seeing the person in front of me as the one God has sent me to meet OR who God knows I need to learn from. For me the ordinariness of a situation can disguise the God who orchestrates the ordinary and gives them purpose. We might (as Hebrews 13:2 says) be entertaining angels unaware. Will we leave our minds open to option "D" or will we be looking around mystified for the God who is reaching out his hand to us but who we will not see. 

 

 

Wednesday, July 15, 2026

I Wish There Was Another Way (Poem)

I Wish There Was Another Way



If I could start again tomorrow, 
Would mornings arrive grudgingly 
And evenings catch me off guard?
Would I be fond of saying, "No"
Or lean towards "Yes!"?
Would I dream as often 
Or get a little more done?
Would I pursue that  
Or wait for a better option? 
Would I?
Or not?

If I could start again tomorrow,
Would I have kept that friend
Or insisted?
Would I choose what led to regret 
And vindication?
Would I be a better version of me
Or less about me?
Would I let someone help me
Or be damned?
Would I
Or not?

Does someone care if I could start again tomorrow?
Let's wake up and find them.