Haiku: 9/14

 Day starts brightening

Dispersing the gray pre-dawn

Lightening the mood.

Haiku: January 2

Trees like fragile sticks
Stand sentry along the road
With ragged salutes

Hummingbird darts out
From between winter flowers 
Seeking sustenance

Took the long road home
(The short road is too scary)
But it was worth it.

Traversing the grass
Birds peck through leaves for breakfast
Something must be there.

Wind can't stir the trees
Leaves fallen, bagged and removed.
In vain pushes the sky.

Which way should I take?
Into the field or forest?
Its such a nice day!

Ember glow on hills
Silohuette of the moring
Foreshadows the dan.

Leave the promised land.
Not so "promised" anymore.
Move to "hopeful" place.

Oceans separate us.
And I can't afford to call.
I'll write a letter.

That my inmost thoughts
Are known is both comforting
And terrifying.

Sleepy eyelids droop.
My head nodes over and falls.
Til jerk! Bring it up!

Smell of bread rises up
The stairs to where I'm working.
Soon I will descend.

Thoughts barefly fitting
In the confines of my head
Wait! Now another.

Exalted on high
Neck aches and eyes are blinded.
Anxious to look up.

Now course correcting.
Back on the previous track.
Try for next exit.

Birds spashing water
Then check each ruffled feature.
Now fly fully groomed.

Heart's eyes cannot see.
If they're not fully opened.
Lord, open them please!

So deep and profound. 
The voice of God speaks across
Agres to reach our ears.

I Wish There Was Another Way, Chapter 5

We really didn't think much about it until Bevan showed up at the store the next morning, slightly abashed.

"Primer." he said simply.

"It's important." I agreed. "If you don't have it, especially on older houses, that siding just sucks in the paint and unevenly at that."

He paid with cash again, chatted pleasantly, and left.

Marble came out of the back, wiping her hands on a rag, "Who was that?"

"Bevan.  Came in yesterday to buy some paint. Paid in cash." 

"Huh." she reacted noncommitally and fished her water jug out of the under-counter fridge. "Well, I'm off to drop the contractor paint."

I was cautious, but I still asked. "So how was living back at home."

"Kinda weird. I think we're still trying to figure out how this is supposed to work. They are tiptoeing around me, trying not to treat me like a kid. But they are nice enough." She shrugged. "So I guess we're figuring each other out again."

"Do they have any other kids?"

"No. There are a few nieces and nephews from Amelia's sister. They are close enough to visit easily for birthdays and such, but too far for a casual drop-in-and-chat."

"So it is just the three of you."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"So," I cleared my throat. "I think that Bevan is a friend of your family's. I think he was asked just to keep an eye on the store."

"That would be in character for the family. Buy a house. Rent it out. Let the tenant know that you would like them to check in at this or that store." Marble commented. 

"Yeah, but what's weirder is this call I got last night." And I showed her the message I had written down on the pad next to the land line. 

She picked it up and read, "Vishy. Call about business for an old family residence." She held the note and looked closer. "That is strange. Or could be perfectly normal."

"Yeah, this whole business has got me second-guessing even normal phone calls. Anyway, let me give them a call." I said as I picked up the phone to dial. After speaking for a few minutes, I hung up and caught Marble's attention, which was taken in front-facing the end caps in the store. 

"That was Vishy. He wants to show me the family house that needs work. It's in an older part of town, down near the river. Can you hold down the store while I head out after lunch?"

"Sure."

------------------

I took off in the truck and arrived 15 minutes later in front of an older bungalow that say a few blocks from the city hall. Most of the other homes had been converted into professional offices, but here and there a few still had fences with brick pillar. The address I had been given was for a classic smaller design, pre-war, with heavy eaves, a simple roofline and porch that was actually big enough for two to sit comfortably and watch the street. 

Looking at Vishy when he opened the door, he looked like the typical engineer transplant. If this was his parent's house, they must have been a part of the first wave of tech workers that moved in 25 years ago. I knocked on the door and an elderly South Asian man, dressed in button-down short and beige slacks opened the door. "Yes?" he said.

"Hello...are you Vishy?"

"Are you Chad?" he replied.

"I am."

"Please, come in. Your...young friend isn't with you?"

"She is manning the store, so I said I'd come see what you've got." I looked around at the facade of the house. "Looks like you've got a classic here. 1920's? Seems like you've kept it in good shape."

"Yes, my parents bought this house when they first came here. Not the first owner. Now my mother lives with my sister and it is just me. Do come in." he gestured welcome into the darker interior of the house.

It was small inside, but in keeping with the period, there was a separate parlor with an over stuffed couch off the entrace, leading to a small dining room filled with an older table and brightly upholstered chairs. Steep steps of redwood curled up from a furnace grating to what I presumed was a attic bedroom. 

As I peered through the doors into two smaller bedrooms, a bathroom and the kitchen, each with the quirky details typical of the period: smaller rooms, pocket doors, built in ice box, and even some fancier bits like crown molding and chair rails. 

"What are you thinking about Mr....?" he had never shared his family name.

"Nijhawan," he supplied.

"Mr. Nijhawan. Older houses can be tricky, and lead paint remediation is often needed first."

He grimaced. "We dealt with the lead the last time we remodeled. I am planning to move out and we want to get this ready for some...relatives. Cousins who need a place to live. We have never met, but they did express a desire for a more modern look. But, to be honest, I don't know what a modern paint job would even look like."

I chuckled. "Well, that's a real challenge." I paused and thought. "Most of these older homes feel small and dark. One simple first step is to paint the lower part of the wall in a darker color and the upper part a lighter color. You can stop in at the store and we can send you home with some sample swatches."

Vishy nodded and we spent the next quarter of an hour walking through the individual rooms and discussing options. Then he paused for a second and then started up another topic. "There's one other thing. I wanted to discuss with you...or rather the girl at your store...about her peculiar background. I am aware of the school she was attending before and what that means. We-my family-have an interested in that school, mainly because of something we share in common. You see, my family has an unusual gift. Every fifth generation, going back to the region in India where my family comes from, there is a child who is born different. Others describe those children as vinta. Maybe you would say 'touched' or strange or different. But my family has know that these children are born with an awareness--a touch of the strange in their manners and speech even from the youngest age. We have always considered this as a type of rebirth. In recent years, they are diagnosed with mental fugue or some other name, but we--my family-- have always known it was the resurgence of an older soul-in dreams, visions and voices."

I wasn't quite what to say at that point. He was patient and watched as my face showed my minds whirling with possibilities. "That's very interesting, Mr. Nijhawan." I finally told him. "But I was given to understand that this mingling of personalities was problematic because of the warring within a single person's soul."

"I don't know what to tell you, Mr. Alfonso. My family does not have an answer. We have treated these vinta-these individuals--as confused but also as savants. Those that I am aware of cannot join normal society, and our journals show that they often choose a solitary life or at least a segregated, apart life. They are still our family, as strange as they are."

I spoke slowly, choosing my words carefully. "Are there any of that generation alive now?"

He shook his head. "There are more now, as the family has spread. But only a few of the fifth generation and none here The closest that I know of is in Wisconsin. He lives remotely- on an island in Lake Michigan. He is...he is my cousin's son." 

"How does he live? Can we visit him?" I asked, 

He held up his hand to stop me. "I will ask my cousin. He is family, but he can be wild and confusing and brilliant in ways that are profoundly troubling for my cousin. What would you ask of him?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "I would like for him to meet Marble, the young woman. She is rapidly approaching the time when she needs to make some decisions, and for this topic there isn't a lot of unbiased information. So much has been told her, but are they leaving her just one choice. Meeting someone outside would be reassuring as she makes that decision."

Vijay smiled and reached out his hand. "I understand. I will speak with my cousin and contact you one way or another."

I shook his hand and left to head back to the store, leaving a business card on the window sill.

 

Matthew 13:31-52

Romans 8:26-39: Overcoming My Moments of Pique

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"

God will get us there. There are many possible objections to our making it to be with the Father. Our prayers are too weak or misdirected. We are full of wrong motives. We aren't smart enough. We have too many strikes against us. Our obstacles are too big. Our enemies are too strong. Our future is too short to pull it off. Our life is too short to accomplish anything. Someone else has priority over us. This chapter starts with one reason ("Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.") and concludes with a laundry list of objections to our making it to be with the God who loves us--"trouble", "hardship", "persecution", "famine", "nakedness", "danger", "sword", "death", "life", "angels", "demons", "the present", "the future", "powers", "height", "depth" and in case we missed something--"all creation". 

But here it says: toss all that out the window. God wants us to be there, we will get there. But do we want it bad enough to toss out the other things we cling to. The list in this chapter doesn't look too inviting, but Paul is saying that's what we would rather hold onto rather than making Christ. It seems simple, but I can testify that I often choose the lesser happiness of being right or looking good or being self-sufficient rather than the assurance of God getting me through to be with him. Thank God he can overcome even my moments of pique and settling for less and get me to him.

Psalm 128: Run It Well

Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.

You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.

Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord.

May the Lord bless you from Zion; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

May you live to see your children’s children—peace be on Israel. - Psalm 128

"You will eat the fruit of your labor...Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house." Sometimes I think that people want to live too loudly. They set their standard for success so high and then are disappointed when they don't turn out to be the superstar in their own drama. That's where they have placed their happiness and in their old age they are nursing the memories of their small victories and grudges trying to convince themselves that they have found IT...the think they were looking for. Our life isn't about our achieving success, it is about living well. "Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 9:9) says Solomon and "...Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,"  says Paul. Life isn't about winning the race. Only one wins but those who run achieve the blessing if they finish well.  

Thats what this Psalm is setting out there: the really blessed people are the ones who live ordinary lives well in a land where they flourish. The phrase "May you" is the start of a blessing indicating how the Psalmist asks God in his grace to make the lives of those who are praying or singing this psalm. The blessed ones are the ones who get to do their job, love their wife, see their children grown and live long enough to see their children. It a reminder that this is the win--not finishing a project or becoming CEO-an what I should be aiming for.

Haiku: August 5 - December 31 2025

Wind pushes the leaves
Framed by my kitchen window
Gray sky forecasts rain

Mind unsettled
But the new day has begun
Must get on with it.

The early birds trill
Otherwise the world is still
Wait! A mouse scampers.

Biting morning chill
When I stick my hand outside
Return to the warmth

One leaf turns her heard
One flower, cries of delight
What will she see next?

Night gathers troubles
A deep breath before I start
Tackle one by one.

If they don't see it
They walk past the road blindly
Do they really look?

Excitead they shift
They want to leave right away
Where are we going?

Woke at the same time
The hills outlined with a glow
Mornings are dark now.

Winter's breath is cold
Bites my nose outside the door
So go back in side!

Make morning coffee
Half tablespoon vanilla
Then milk to the rim.

Going the right way
Or just going in circles?
Can it be spirals?

Red leaves on the ground
Yellow leaves, wind-blown in trees
Grey clouds loom above

Yellow orange red
Leaves on trees splayed like hands
Welcoming the chill

Parking lot exit
A wave. Sign asking for help.
What is my real thought?

Geese fly overhead
Unenviable commute
To the north office

Birds chatter outside
First sun after the rain stopped.
Catching up with friends.

Christmas tree sculptures 
Illuminate our selfies.
Then the lights turned off.

In trail, leaves fell.
Littering the whole yard
With red and gold stems.

Rain puddles out front.
No dry path that I can walk
Wind keeps me aware

Want to walk today.
The rain biting in my face
Going back inside.

Surprise rain walking
Hiding under the fir tree
Surprise sun comes out.

Smell of bread rises
Greets me coming down the stairs.
Invites me to dine.

Bright car headlines shine.
Damp streets from yesterday's rain.
Leaves stain the pavement.

Slow but steady rain
From here to city and back.
Now outside its dark.

Yellow banana
Yellow squash in a basket
Cornucopia

Long rides through the air
Sleeping through the clouds and sky
Arriving at night.

Crows circle my head
Looking for a place to land.
In my crumpled hair.

Winter plants line paths.
Streams dotted with twirling white.
White egret soars by.

Did you sense I'm gone,
Half-awake in the morning?
Rolling to the warmth.

Too cold for a walk. 
Hands and ears and legs are burning.
House door inviting.

Shuffling, awake,
Fuzzy early morning thoughts.
Stumble out of bed.

Leaves of the boquet.
Litter the kitchen table.
Need to be renewed.

Sunrise to sunset.
Shadows inch close to the tree.
Hide, lengthen, then fade.

Song of the rain patter.
Makes me want to sleep again.
But shoes are outside.

Finches perched on branch
Waiting for the rain to stop.
Or food to appear.

Red in my windows.
Sunshine catches the morning clouds.
Don't open the door.

Bird silhouette strolls.

Across my morning walk's path
Walking unaware.

Hummingbird again.
Tries to sip winter flowers.
Leaves to try elsewhere.

Little Christmas tree.
Looks through the window and dreams
About the forest.

Sleep on empty days?
I wish but there's much to do.
Let out a deep sigh.

The sound of footsteps.
Either a mouse or a grown child.
Just one is louder.

I can see blue skies.
Through the leaves of tree branches.
Still yearning for leaves.

Week before New Year.
Left over Christmas regret.
Mixed with unclaimed cheer.

Lights pulse with music
Crowds pause to take their selfies.
Wander nighttime paths.