Haiku: August 5 - December 31 2025

Wind pushes the leaves
Framed by my kitchen window
Gray sky forecasts rain

Mind unsettled
But the new day has begun
Must get on with it.

The early birds trill
Otherwise the world is still
Wait! A mouse scampers.

Biting morning chill
When I stick my hand outside
Return to the warmth

One leaf turns her heard
One flower, cries of delight
What will she see next?

Night gathers troubles
A deep breath before I start
Tackle one by one.

If they don't see it
They walk past the road blindly
Do they really look?

Excitead they shift
They want to leave right away
Where are we going?

Woke at the same time
The hills outlined with a glow
Mornings are dark now.

Winter's breath is cold
Bites my nose outside the door
So go back in side!

Make morning coffee
Half tablespoon vanilla
Then milk to the rim.

Going the right way
Or just going in circles?
Can it be spirals?

Red leaves on the ground
Yellow leaves, wind-blown in trees
Grey clouds loom above

Yellow orange red
Leaves on trees splayed like hands
Welcoming the chill

Parking lot exit
A wave. Sign asking for help.
What is my real thought?

Geese fly overhead
Unenviable commute
To the north office

Birds chatter outside
First sun after the rain stopped.
Catching up with friends.

Christmas tree sculptures 
Illuminate our selfies.
Then the lights turned off.

In trail, leaves fell.
Littering the whole yard
With red and gold stems.

Rain puddles out front.
No dry path that I can walk
Wind keeps me aware

Want to walk today.
The rain biting in my face
Going back inside.

Surprise rain walking
Hiding under the fir tree
Surprise sun comes out.

Smell of bread rises
Greets me coming down the stairs.
Invites me to dine.

Bright car headlines shine.
Damp streets from yesterday's rain.
Leaves stain the pavement.

Slow but steady rain
From here to city and back.
Now outside its dark.

Yellow banana
Yellow squash in a basket
Cornucopia

Long rides through the air
Sleeping through the clouds and sky
Arriving at night.

Crows circle my head
Looking for a place to land.
In my crumpled hair.

Winter plants line paths.
Streams dotted with twirling white.
White egret soars by.

Did you sense I'm gone,
Half-awake in the morning?
Rolling to the warmth.

Too cold for a walk. 
Hands and ears and legs are burning.
House door inviting.

Shuffling, awake,
Fuzzy early morning thoughts.
Stumble out of bed.

Leaves of the boquet.
Litter the kitchen table.
Need to be renewed.

Sunrise to sunset.
Shadows inch close to the tree.
Hide, lengthen, then fade.

Song of the rain patter.
Makes me want to sleep again.
But shoes are outside.

Finches perched on branch
Waiting for the rain to stop.
Or food to appear.

Red in my windows.
Sunshine catches the morning clouds.
Don't open the door.

Bird silhouette strolls.

Across my morning walk's path
Walking unaware.

Hummingbird again.
Tries to sip winter flowers.
Leaves to try elsewhere.

Little Christmas tree.
Looks through the window and dreams
About the forest.

Sleep on empty days?
I wish but there's much to do.
Let out a deep sigh.

The sound of footsteps.
Either a mouse or a grown child.
Just one is louder.

I can see blue skies.
Through the leaves of tree branches.
Still yearning for leaves.

Week before New Year.
Left over Christmas regret.
Mixed with unclaimed cheer.

Lights pulse with music
Crowds pause to take their selfies.
Wander nighttime paths.

John 20:1-18: Premature Conclusions

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.

Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her. - John 20:1-18

One thing that strikes me in this story is how making premature conclusions prevent us from seeing what God is doing right in front of us. John and Peter and Mary went the tomb and had constructed whole narratives about what might have happened. Option "A" or "B" or "C" John and Peter ran to the tomb, saw that it was clearly empty, body missin, linen folded neatly but "They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead" Mary looked inside, saw two angels and then "saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus."  But she had Jesus right in front of her but still she asked  "if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him"

We (two thousand plus years later) take it for granted: Jesus rose from the dead. But "living" after being "dead" was not option "A" or "B" or "C" for them. It was so inconceivable that when they were adding up what had happened, they never reached the sum that equaled resurrection. Option "D" simply did not exist.

It is too simple to stop at this point and say that it was because they were not expecting Jesus alive so they kept filling in the blanks with anything but Jesus. What we need to ask is: what could God be putting right in front of us that we miss because we are cynical or too often disappointed or it is not how  God works? Am I so good at figuring out how things work but not how God works?

For me, it can be not seeing the person in front of me as the one God has sent me to meet OR who God knows I need to learn from. For me the ordinariness of a situation can disguise the God who orchestrates the ordinary and gives them purpose. We might (as Hebrews 13:2 says) be entertaining angels unaware. Will we leave our minds open to option "D" or will we be looking around mystified for the God who is reaching out his hand to us but who we will not see. 

 

 

I Wish There Was Another Way (Poem)

I Wish There Was Another Way

If I could start again tomorrow, 

Would mornings arrive grudgingly 

And evenings catch me off guard?

Would I be fond of saying, "No"

Or lean towards "Yes!"?

Would I dream as often 

Or get a little more done?

Would I pursue that  

Or wait for a better option? 

Would I?

Or not?

If I could start again tomorrow,

Would I have kept that friend
Or insisted?
Would I choose what led to regret 
And vindication?

Would I be a better version of me
Or less about me?

Would I let someone help me
Or be damned?

Would I
Or not?

Does someone care if I could start again tomorrow?

Let's wake up and find them.

Psalm 118:1-24: The Strength of God's Hands On Ours

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Let Israel say: “His love endures forever.” Let the house of Aaron say: “His love endures forever.” Let those who fear the Lord say: “His love endures forever.”

When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes. All the nations surrounded me, but in the name of the Lord I cut them down. They surrounded me on every side, but in the name of the Lord I cut them down. They swarmed around me like bees, but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns; in the name of the Lord I cut them down. I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.

Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: “The Lord’s right hand has done mighty things! The Lord’s right hand is lifted high; the Lord’s right hand has done mighty things!” I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done. The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death. - Psalm 118:1-18

"When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place." There is a certain point in everyones' life where there is nothing you can do. For whatever reason, you are brought to a place where you can do nothing and you fail. Your resources are insufficient, your strength is weak, your options are reduced to zero, your friends are gone, your prayers unanswered. When this happens, you prepare yourself for the worst: the consequences of bad choices or bad situations come fully to fruition.

But sometimes...but sometimes it just works out. It just resolves. New resources materialize, strength rejuvenates, options unexpectedly multiply, friends stand up for you and prayers are answered. But why? We could try to take credit. We look for reasons why we are responsible for things turning out ok. We could try to say it is because we are resilient or good or lucky or have good karma. But in our heart of hearts, we know we had nothing to do with it.

When this happens, I think it is God giving us a chance to recognize him, his care, his strength. Sure, we could wave it off and act like it was nothing--a nothing that removes meaning from the whole universe. Or we could see it for what it is, God's intervention. And recognizing that these happened because of a person who cares reframes the supposedly random aspects of our lives.

Then if we start working back from these extreme cases, when we are desperate, we can get a vision of how God is involved in the many small graces we receive. That it's not just when we are at the end of our rope that God appears, but also in the smaller moments and decisions where we found a way forward, not realizing it was the same God who saw us through. Yes, tradgedy still happens, but when it does or doesn't we can see the caring hand of God sustaining us. We thought it was the strength of our hands, but it was really the strengh of God's hands resting on ours

Acts 10:34-43: Being OK With Having The Same Grace As Them

Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right. You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, announcing the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all. You know what has happened throughout the province of Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John preached—how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

“We are witnesses of everything he did in the country of the Jews and in Jerusalem. They killed him by hanging him on a cross, but God raised him from the dead on the third day and caused him to be seen. He was not seen by all the people, but by witnesses whom God had already chosen—by us who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one whom God appointed as judge of the living and the dead. All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” - Acts 10:34-43

 "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism" Who is God trying to save? We make a mistake when we think that because we get the news first that we are now in a special position of privilege. This is sometimes done very consciously. For example: when James and John tried to secure a special place on the left and right hand of Jesus in eternity because they were earlier than the others who had come to believe in Jesus. (I wonder what Peter thought about being demoted, since he was also one of the earliest)

Sometimes it is not done so deliberately but it is common and subtle. I call it "This sin, when solved, will be simple." We all struggle with being godly and we struggle with sins. Some of those sins are more obvioius to other people and some of them are between us and God and no one else may know at all. But God is gracious and helps us to make us intensely aware of that sin and guides us and provides us the strength perhaps to conquer it. And we look and that whole journey as precious, full of setbacks and small victories. But heaven help someone else who has similar problems in their spiritual journey on their way to a fuller, richer relationship with God. We are often not sympathetic and are often critical. "How could you do that?" and "How could you be so stupid?" and "What happened to your willpower?" and "Coward!"

In this story, Peter has realized something. He has realized that his own people have killed the Messiah and he has denied that same Messiah and there are many "from every nation" who God is looking favorably upon who "fears him and does what is right" Yes, the Jews were the special people of Israel through whom the prophets spoke. But that wasn't the limit of God's plan. Other people could also call Jesus the Messiah and follow him and God would be happy to have them also, even if they didn't have the special law and special diet and special history. 

I realize that I am also in the "This sin, when solved, will be simple" camp. I tend to have trouble understanding why people struggle with various sins and addictions just because I don't struggle. And I tend to minimize the struggles I do have as "reasonable" problems that every "normal" person would have. So I need forgiveness for that attitude that makes the spiritual journey that other people are on less acceptable. It's OK to have the same grace as them, even on a different journey. I need to give the same grace that I have received. 

Psalm 121: It Is No Bother To Watch Over Us

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. - Psalm 121

 "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." There is a shift from the first two verses of this psalm and the next six verses. The psalm was a song sung by pilgrims heading up to worship in Jerusalem. Each of the mountains around were "high places" that were often mentioned in the rest of the Old Testament as places where people had traditionally tried offering sacrifices to petition God--or a god--for help. The psalmist testifies how the God who made the earth, the mountain and the heavens had helped him and in the remaining six verses he says that same help is available to the rest of his people.

I realize that sometimes I have a slightly different picture of God in my head--even though I wouldn't say it out loud--a picture of God who needs to be actively "petitioned" or "pleaded with" or "begged" or "bargained with" before he will act on behalf of me or his people. As if he's busy doing other important business and we need to raise our hand to signal that we need some special help. 

But when I read these verses, it doesn't seem like it is such a bother for God to act for us. In fact, it says "he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming both now and forevermore" When it comes to his children, his default posture is watchfulness while my own tends towards forgetfulness. God has enough bandwidth and enough care that it is no bother to watch over his children and that is really warming for me to know that God thinks that way about me.

John 3:1-17: Figuring It Out Is As Likely As Being Born Again

Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.”

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

“How can this be?” Nicodemus asked.

“You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, “and do you not understand these things? Very truly I tell you, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.”

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. - John 3:1-17

 You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’  This is the most amazing thing that Jesus says in his discussion with Nicodemus. How could Nicodemus not be surprised? Jesus tells him that the thing which is necessary to see the kingdom of God is something that literally doesn't ever happen. People are not born again. They are born once and then they die. 

But I think that is the point of what Jesus is saying: seeing the kingdom of God is not gained by an incremental change in the way we live. It is not a "try a little bit harder and you'll get it" sort of problem. Seeing the kingdom of God requires a reworking of our soul at a fundamental level and it is not a change that we engineer ourselves. We can't get there from here. God's Spirit changes in ways that are outside the scope of our imagination or capabilities. 

Nicodemus had lived in the world of the Pharisees who thought they had a path to the kingdom of God if the people of God would just try a little bit harder and they would pass the threshold of holiness which would permit the kingdom of God to be established. Tim lives in a world of Christians and non-Christians who think that a path exists to the kingdom of God if we would just try a little harder or work a little smarter so that we would pass the threshold of holiness which would permit us to get to a stable, good place in our lives. Sometimes I think that my little kingdom would be better if I was just smarter or less selfish or richer or (fill in the blank). But Jesus says throw that out and let the Spirit do a reboot based on God's doing it his way. And he won't necessarily fill me in on how that's going to go. And I guess that I have to wait and see rather than trying to force it in my preferred direction. As Jesus said, The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.