Sunday, April 30, 2023

Luke 24:13-35: Close Encounters With Jesus, Not Far

Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him.

He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

“What things?” he asked.

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”

He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther. But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.” Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.
- Luke 24:13-35

Sometimes it is in the most common of things where we encounter Jesus. For example, at the tomb this most ubiquitous of experiences (100% of people will encounter it at least once) held different experiences of God for the different people that encountered it.

In these verses, the two disciples encounter Jesus in doing something that every person does: we eat. The text says, "Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread." It called to mind how they had met with Jesus before at a meal or meals and how his words then had burned within them. The most common of activities contain within them the clue to remember Jesus and some aspect of his character and what he has done for us. If we look at them from the right angle. We could pray a quick prayer in thanks to God and chomp down on the food in gratitude but still miss the chance to recognize Jesus at the table with us.

It is not just food. It could be driving. Diving deep into the garden or a file full of code. A meeting with a neighbor walking by, a phone call from a relative, a grocery worker or short-order cook. Every occasion gives a unique glimpse of God if we're willing to look for it. We could go miles searching for God and that's not a bad thing, but let's not overlook Jesus' closer encounters.

Saturday, April 29, 2023

1 Peter 1:17-25: Variety 51

Since you call on a Father who judges each person’s work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For, “All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord endures forever.”

And this is the word that was preached to you. - 1 Peter 1:17-25

"redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors..." I think we need to learn that we need redemption, not just salvation. Redemption has a depth to it that is beyond salvation, because it indicates that we were "sold" on something else. Salvation is rescue, we were under threat. Redemption is bought back, from a debt that we incurred, not to God but to devil. We have sold ourselves for an 'empty way of life'. It is like those laborers who find that they can never be free because their wages are less than their obligations for room and board. Each day makes $2 but requires $3. 

When we were born, these debts were built into the system. There may have been fifty varieties, but each left us more under its sway each day. We were born into debt, falling further behind. But Peter says, there is variety 51. Variety 51 is not some smarter way to earn merit or pay for our debt. Rather, variety 51 is a new start, and a new system, not based on what is in us, but rather a system based on what is in Jesus.

Given my default mode, I will neglect Variety 51 because I have years of trying and watching how to earn merit by being smart and morally upright. But those are the perishable seed, and a quick unbiased survey shows that these just varieties 1-50--they fail and lose vigor like grass and flowers at the end of summer. The eternal comes with the imperishable seed. What should I plant? I think I will like the variety 51, if I give it a chance and don't choke it out.

Friday, April 28, 2023

Psalm 116:1-4, 12-19: Promise Loudly

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Lord, save me!” What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants. Truly I am your servant, Lord; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains. I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the Lord—in your midst, Jerusalem.

Praise the Lord.
- Psalm 116:1-4, 12-19

It is one thing to make a promise to the Lord and keep it quietly. It is another thing to make a promise to the Lord an keep it loudly. Why does the writer make a point of saying that he will keep his promise so publicly? Twice he says he will "fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people" Does he want to brag about how holy he is? How he has God's ear? 

I think that there are two reasons: he wants to celebrate God and he wants to hold himself accountable.

First, he wants to celebrate God. Whatever the circumstances that led to this psalm of praise, it was serious. "the anguish of the grave came over me." But God saved him and he feels in a position where he has nothing to give back to God except his public praise "What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me?" So he decides to praise God.

Second, he wants to hold himself accountable. He could have done this in secret, but then failure to make his sacrifice and praise would have limited consequences. By doing it publicly, he sets up the conditions so that he is incentivized to so what he knows he ought to do. Kind of like taking a class in a subject that you could have learned by self-study. Sure you could have gained the same knowledge, but the environment you place yourself in rewards follow-through. 

So yes, this environment can be selfish but it can also be godly. Will I miss one in order to avoid the other?

Friday, April 21, 2023

1 Peter 1:3-9: Entropy In Reverse

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. - 1 Peter 1:3-9

Life is like springtime, which inevitably gives way with the passing of days, to summer, fall and winter. We, like the grass and the flowers, burst forth in a loud, tumultuous display of vigor, only to fade and wither. As cynics would have it, we are born to die. Life proceeds in spurts, fits and starts, from that initial moment inexorably to death. 

Peter, though, speaks of another birth which God gives us. "...he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade." Not born to die, but born to live. 

Even if we have this new life, we still act like we are dying. Not only is the pattern that we are used to-that we see all around us-it is the what we feel in our own body. Paul says, "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." (2 Cor. 4:16) No matter how we feel, if God's Spirit is at work within us, we are actually becoming more alive. That is the paradox. And one day, God will make our body catch up the renewal he's already done in our soul. That is the inheritance-the entropy in reverse-that Peter mentions that "is kept in heaven for" us.  So I am wondering, what does it mean to live as if it won't all eventually break, but rather it will eventually all be whole. 

 

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Psalm 16: What Are You Expecting From God's Will?

Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge.

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.”

I say of the holy people who are in the land, “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”

Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods or take up their names on my lips.
 
Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay.

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
- Psalm 16

What are the Old Testament and New Testament? The word "testament" isn't a word that means part or section or partition-a way of denoting the sections of a book like the Bible into its "Old Section" and "New Section". No, a 'testament' is "a person's will, especially the part relating to personal property." The Bible is a will describing what God has left to us as his legacy. 

So what is it that he left us? I think that this psalm gives us glimpse "Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup." If all we end up with is God himself--no health, no riches, no influence, no wisdom-just God. Is that enough?

I have spent an awful lot of time recently dealing with inheritances. Executors, beneficiaries, trustees and lawyers are all words whose rankings have risen in my vocabulary. People build up layers of complexity and much is forgotten that later needs to be uncovered to make sense of a person's life and what they have left behind. But in the will and trust that I am delving through, there is nothing that I would not exchange for more time--even moments more-with the one who made the will.

What do we expect of from another person? Themselves? Or what they can give us. I think that is what God asks: do we want God or do we want what God can do for us. This psalm expresses contentment in what was distributed to him as a beneficiary of the Father's testament. "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Why is the inheritance in pleasant places? Because the boundary lines enclose not a rich estate but a loving God.


 

Sunday, April 16, 2023

Acts 2:14,22-32: As Your Yourselves Know, But Don't Care

Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say.

“Fellow Israelites, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.

David said about him: “‘I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest in hope, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, you will not let your holy one see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.’

“Fellow Israelites, I can tell you confidently that the patriarch David died and was buried, and his tomb is here to this day. But he was a prophet and knew that God had promised him on oath that he would place one of his descendants on his throne. Seeing what was to come, he spoke of the resurrection of the Messiah, that he was not abandoned to the realm of the dead, nor did his body see decay. God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of it. - Acts 2:14,22-32

 When will we accept that we were on the wrong side? Part of repentance is accepting that so much of my life consisted in patterns that were diametrically opposed to the God-centered life that God wants us to live. Repentance isn't about trying to explain the multitude of reasons why we ended up in a bad place vis-a-vis our relationship with God, but to admit that the final position, against God is a place we should never end up.

There were lots of reasons people were opposed to Jesus. Jesus was kryptonite; associate with him and you are pariah from the community of upstanding people. Jesus was full of himself, claiming status and authority that belonged to God alone. Jesus put himself above the words of God in the Torah. Jesus was a convicted criminal. Jesus brought the wrath of Rome down on good citizens. Jesus was radical but the type of radical that didn't really do anything. 

But it was exactly in the blast radius of Jesus' culture bomb that you need to stand to chemo-therapy the self that is the cancer of our souls. Trying to identify those portions of the cancer-filled life that we want to hold on to is some ill-informed nostalgia. 

And we know it. As Peter said to his audience: Jesus was "accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs...as you yourselves know." God gave them enough to know that Jesus was the real deal, but they crucified him rather than changing their lives. We know the truth but we don't want it. We prefer the lie. And this pattern, fills so many cracks and crevices of our characters that we aren't even sure what the whole version of us what looks life, more holes than substance. 

This is why Isaiah said, "Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 6:5)

Yet Peter proclaimed that the weakness of our inconstant love is not enough to prevent God. Jesus still rose. God still saves. We are still renewed. Praised God

Wednesday, April 12, 2023

John 20:1-18: Be Ok With Not Figuring It Out Ahead of Time

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.

Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her. - John 20:1-18

Again, we start with the dead body, but this time the dead body is missing. Mary, Peter and John knew what to do with a dead body, even if that dead body killed all of their hopes. But a missing dead body piled tragedy on top of the hope that had been dashed. Not only had Jesus been killed shamefully after a night of travesties, but if there was a body, their grief would have had a focal point and they could honor him in death. Mary found the body was missing and went to tell Peter and John. Their conclusion was Jesus must have been stolen and they went back, probably to quiz the other disciples as to who might have absconded with the dead body.

We try to search for answers to what we see, to explain the reasons behind the pain that we feel. When we're not feeling well, we try to find the reason for that feeling: the weather, what we ate, the contagious neighbor's kid, God's lesson plan, etc. When we're feeling depressed, we search for the reason that led us to feel that way. As with dead bodies and empty tombs, our imagination fills in the gaps with theories, hypotheses, rationales based on what we know because we want the world to make sense. Seldom do we leave room in our small brains for something else, something God will do. And I think that's ok, Be surprised. be blown away, be ok with not figuring out God's plan ahead of time. He's God. I'm not. Its his prerogative to outsmart me and all the people around me. My goal is to have my eyes open to see and my heart ready to respond to what God does without any equivocating.

Monday, April 10, 2023

Matthew 27:57-66: Back-to-Life Jesus

As evening approached, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who had himself become a disciple of Jesus. Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body, and Pilate ordered that it be given to him. Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were sitting there opposite the tomb.

The next day, the one after Preparation Day, the chief priests and the Pharisees went to Pilate. “Sir,” they said, “we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, ‘After three days I will rise again.’ So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.”

“Take a guard,” Pilate answered. “Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how.” So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard
. - Matthew 27:57-66

They were only prepared for a dead body. Joseph asked for Jesus' body, wanting to make sure that it was treated properly and put in the tomb. It doesn't record what Joseph was thinking. We can only guess. On the eve of Sabbath, he made his own tomb available to hold the corpse.  Joseph thought to honor a dead holy man.

Mary Magdalene and the other Mary wanted to know where the dead body was placed so that the would know where to go when they returned to perfume the body once Sabbath was complete. They thought to honor a dead friend.

The Pharisees wanted to make sure that the body stayed in the tomb.  They sought to quiet things down so that the wouldn't get worse.

Pilate just wanted to forget about the body. He sought peace with angry people and was willing to sacrifice his integrity to get it. 

No one was prepared for a back-to-life Jesus. We known what to do with corpses. But we don't know what to do with the re-living Jesus. So much of our lives are spent thinking about, planning for or ignoring our impending death. Medicine, hospitals, living trusts, wills, beneficiaries, cemeteries, ghosts...they are all artifacts of how people die. But where are the artifacts of how people live again? What if we lived...forever? What if we lived healthy and vibrant...forever? Do we get bored or is there still delight? I want to have the chance to find out. What is my life and attitude if those things aren't so prominent? God knows. 

Friday, April 7, 2023

John 12:1-11, 20-26: Paradox of Death and Glory

Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.

“Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.”

Meanwhile a large crowd of Jews found out that Jesus was there and came, not only because of him but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests made plans to kill Lazarus as well, for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and believing in him.

Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the festival. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. “Sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” Philip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus.

Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. - John 12:1-11, 20-26

Here Jesus introduces the genius of God in an unexpected way. Throughout the entire Old Testament, God's glory was associated with his overwhelming presence and his victories.  "The Lord our God has shown us his glory and his majesty, and we have heard his voice from the fire" (Deut. 5:24) or "I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory." (Psalm 63:2) Usually glory is associated with shining brightly.

But Jesus' glory is something different: he must die. He was arrested at night. When he went to the cross it says that darkness covered the land. The seed, he said, must fall to the ground and die.

I think this is another example of the descent into greatness-the means by which God spends the lives of his servants in imitation of Jesus for his purposes and his genius in knowing how to orchestrate it into multiplication of life-for us and others. 

But Jesus warns that the holding on to our single life so tightly ends up in our loss and our inability to participate generously in God's plan. So I wonder what I hold on to so tightly so that God can't use it. 

Wednesday, April 5, 2023

Romans 8:6-11: One Person, Two Kingdoms

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. - Romans 8:6-11

I think that a great deal of tension arises in Christians because they are one person living in two different kingdoms. There are two loyalties: one to the devil and one to Christ. Each loyalty has a claim on us: one was our boss since birth, where we are led by our desires to sin, selfishness and death. The other is our boss since choosing Christ, where we are led by our desires to follow Christ. 

The kingdom of the devil has its own systems of reward based on self-centeredness. Manipulating those very desires to advance ourselves, the devil tricks us into thinking we are securing our own kingdom while we are, in fact, building his. Part of this manipulation is to hide the fact that the end result of this kind of living is death.

The kingdom of Christ also has its own system of reward based on Christ-centeredness. Teaching us that the desires for God himself, rather than our own advancement, are the source of "life and peace" 

Because one of these kingdom has been with us since our beginning, it is our default allegiance. Changing that allegiance in our daily lives is a continual series of choices away from self-interest to God interest. Fortunately, God provides his own spirit to counteract the 'default' allegiance and lead us away from death into life. But wanting to choose God because of God rather than for a way of extending and enhancing our own kingdom is tricky business that requires actually trusting God to take care of all of the things that would normally worry us. Today I prayed that God would use his superior knowledge to make things go the way he wants them and show me how he wants me to participate, even if it weakens my personal kingdom. That is my pledge of allegiance.

Saturday, April 1, 2023

Psalm 130: Wallowing In The Sheer Joy of Grace

Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.
- Psalm 130

What if someone knew everything about you--not just what you've done but what you've thought. What if someone knew that and still liked you. There is a great deal of fear that governs our relationships. It is the fear of discovery--of being found out. We are afraid of what that 'someone' will do if they knew the truth and knew what we were secretly feeling, even if it was only for a moment. 

That is the dilemma with God. He knows us at our worst-all the way down into the motives and selfishness and into the things we don't even want to admit to ourselves. He knows us. But somehow 'with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption' It is a dilemma because we really don't know anyone like this. I am not like this. Disappoint and people (including me) write you off. 

How does it make me feel for God to know me that well? Humiliating. The gap between who God knows me to be and the amazing way that he still treats me is humiliating. I'm spoiled. And it's amazing-to be fully aware of how much I don't deserve it and yet to wallow in the sheer joy of his grace. .