Psalm 130: Wallowing In The Sheer Joy of Grace

Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins. - Psalm 130

What if someone knew everything about you--not just what you've done but what you've thought. What if someone knew that and still liked you. There is a great deal of fear that governs our relationships. It is the fear of discovery--of being found out. We are afraid of what that 'someone' will do if they knew the truth and knew what we were secretly feeling, even if it was only for a moment. 

That is the dilemma with God. He knows us at our worst-all the way down into the motives and selfishness and into the things we don't even want to admit to ourselves. He knows us. But somehow 'with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption' It is a dilemma because we really don't know anyone like this. I am not like this. Disappoint and people (including me) write you off. 

How does it make me feel for God to know me that well? Humiliating. The gap between who God knows me to be and the amazing way that he still treats me is humiliating. I'm spoiled. And it's amazing-to be fully aware of how much I don't deserve it and yet to wallow in the sheer joy of his grace. .

Psalm 130: The Hole Where Longing for God Should Be

Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins. - Psalm 130

Security guards who work the night shift know how long the night seems. In the dark, you can lose track of time and there is no sense of time progressing. Fatigue and drowsiness sneaks up on you because there is nothing to stimulate the brain. 

You stare into the black and then you think you can see the first signs of dawn; when there is the slightest differences in shades of black. At first you aren't sure, but as the moments pass the gradation moves from hoped for to certain. Dawn and the morning are coming.

The writer says that his "whole being waits...for the Lord." There is a longing there-a level of dependence-that we can pretend to have; we can say we have. But inside we know whether it is true or whether we simply would like it to be true. Sometimes it may be true, and we may tell God how distant we feel. Other times, we may have the hole where longing for God should reside but is missing. There is nothing to do but to be honest with God and repeat to ourselves and God the history of our interactions. The Spirit can work with honesty in ways that he will not work with self-deception.