Mark 1:15: Where to Look for the Kingdom of God

"Repentance is not an emotion. It is not feeling sorry for your sins. It is a decision. It is deciding that you have been wrong in supposing that you could manage your own life and be your own god; it is deciding that you were wrong in thinking that you had, or could get, the strength, education and training to make it on your own..." - Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, ch. 2.

In a recent meeting with friends of mine, someone commented that he was struck by the fact that repentance was not "feeling sorry." Another friend commented, "My wife always tells me, 'Don't say sorry. Do sorry.'" Some habits are so ingrained and lead to "sorry" so often, that they become discouraging.

I think that I am too comfortable with the way things are-content to maintain an uneasy truce with my selfishness. There is a subconscious cost-benefit analysis going on and repentance seems too expensive. Perhaps I rationalize my response-downgrading the rating of my selfish, caustic actions by telling myself that I must attend to more pressing matters .

“The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” - Mark 1:15

Jesus tells me that kingdom of God is close-so very close-but it lies on the other side of repentance. It is not a one-and-done event, it is a day-by-day decision that "the kingdom of God is close when I turn to God and away from myself." It says every justification or accommodation of my selfish nature is damaging to my self and those I care about most.

Where do I start? For myself, I find that what irritates me is often a big clue as to where my self is active. Recently this has been a sense of entitlement that makes me upset at other drivers, other shoppers or other people in restaurants-how slow they are, how inconsiderate they are, how inefficient they are. My discipline during this post-Easter season has been taking slow lanes and slow aisles and then, when my habitual irritation rises up, to talk with God about it. There have been a lot of conversations lately. This is repentance for me right now.

How about you?

"Repentance is the most practical of all words and the most practical of all acts. It is a feet-on-the-ground sort of word." - Eugene Peterson, ibid.