Esther 7:1-10, 9:20-22: Changing Mindsets By Relationships

So the king and Haman went to Queen Esther’s banquet, and as they were drinking wine on the second day, the king again asked, “Queen Esther, what is your petition? It will be given you. What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be granted.”

Then Queen Esther answered, “If I have found favor with you, Your Majesty, and if it pleases you, grant me my life—this is my petition. And spare my people—this is my request. For I and my people have been sold to be destroyed, killed and annihilated. If we had merely been sold as male and female slaves, I would have kept quiet, because no such distress would justify disturbing the king.”

King Xerxes asked Queen Esther, “Who is he? Where is he—the man who has dared to do such a thing?”

Esther said, “An adversary and enemy! This vile Haman!”

Then Haman was terrified before the king and queen. The king got up in a rage, left his wine and went out into the palace garden. But Haman, realizing that the king had already decided his fate, stayed behind to beg Queen Esther for his life.

Just as the king returned from the palace garden to the banquet hall, Haman was falling on the couch where Esther was reclining.

The king exclaimed, “Will he even molest the queen while she is with me in the house?”

As soon as the word left the king’s mouth, they covered Haman’s face. Then Harbona, one of the eunuchs attending the king, said, “A pole reaching to a height of fifty cubits stands by Haman’s house. He had it set up for Mordecai, who spoke up to help the king.”

The king said, “Impale him on it!” So they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai. Then the king’s fury subsided. - Esther 7:1-10

Mordecai recorded these events, and he sent letters to all the Jews throughout the provinces of King Xerxes, near and far, to have them celebrate annually the fourteenth and fifteenth days of the month of Adar as the time when the Jews got relief from their enemies, and as the month when their sorrow was turned into joy and their mourning into a day of celebration. He wrote them to observe the days as days of feasting and joy and giving presents of food to one another and gifts to the poor. - Esther 9:20-22

 When you show that the relationship with the one can be extended to the many. There are many recorded instances in the Bible when the people of God are under the authority of the ungodly and the unrighteous, who really don't care about them or definitely put them in a significantly lower category where they can disposed of at a whim. But we also see that God sometimes places a person or two in the group near the authority to develop a different type of relationship--not as a member of "that" group but as someone whose hard work and dedication allows them to be trusted.  God can use this status as a "someone" rather than the status as a "one of them" to effect his rescue and accomplish his purposes. He did that here, where the King saw "Esther" as his wife and "Mordecai" as his advisor and servant rather than as a "foreigner" or "Jew".  When Esther revealed to him that Haman's plan to kill the Jews recast Haman's plan into something which threatened his wife and advisor, he was angry and it transformed his whole attitude towards God's people.

I think that we sometimes avoid contact with the "enemy" because we fear it will compromise us and our values and beliefs, or make us give away our strength uselessly, or enable them in their wicked ways. But the people in the Bible, from Joseph to Daniel and Mordecai chose to their best for people, even the people who qualify as "enemies" and by changing their thinking on a personal level they also changed their thinking about bigger issues.  I'm glad God didn't do that with me: "For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!" (Romans 5:10) 

1 Thessalonians 2:1-12: Seeing It First In Those With Skin On

You know, brothers and sisters, that our visit to you was not without results. We had previously suffered and been treated outrageously in Philippi, as you know, but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in the face of strong opposition. For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. Instead, we were like young children among you.

Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. Surely you remember, brothers and sisters, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. - 1 Thessalonians 2:1-12

There are a lot of reasons to do things in the church and many of them are bad. Paul lists a number of them here: error in teaching, impure motives, deception, getting the approval of some people, getting some people to do what you want, selfish advantage and control of people or the situation. 

How could Paul prove to them that they were acting in their best interests? Really, he could not prove it. He had to trust that their compassionate, selfless hard work would speak the truth in parallel with the gospel: "we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well." I would say that people are good at detecting fakes: people building relationships tied to an agenda. In today's society, there are plenty of people who will be your friend if you will go along with their plans. 

Sometimes my test has become: how do they treat people who aren't their "type"?  That's what God did.  "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) How will they know what God is like if they can't see it first in those of his people with skin on. 

Luke 8:15: Perseverance Is Patience Prolonged

But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. - Luke 8:15

Paul says that "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4). I have wondered whether being annoyed counts as "suffering" in this context. Because I am often annoyed. :-) It doesn't take a coliseum full of hungry lions or midnight raids and secret trials. A slow-moving buffet line or a shopping cart angled across the aisle of a grocery store will do it easily and with a lot less...fuss. l often mentally catalog ways that people could optimize their handling of a tedious situation to make it easier for other people. I am easily annoyed and, therefore, I am on the fast track to hope and saint-hood, right?

What I have found instead is that fostering annoyance or impatience leads me to be a more irritable and impatient person. And when I reflect on what I am saying (silently or out loud) and thinking (loudly) about other people in these circumstances, I find I am not a person whom I can admire.

So I have begun to do four things over the past few months:

1. Deliberately choose slower options, such as slower lanes of traffic or longer check-out lines. I call this the "discipline of the longest line". It is a means of fighting my me-first, critique-filled attitude and a means of testing where I am in this process.
2. Keep a tally of the number of times that I am impatient with people in these types of situations, 
3. Talk with God each time to discuss why I felt so entitled and in a hurry and 
4. Discuss this process with some that I trust. 

Why? Because I don't like the type of person I am when I am impatient. Because I am chronically in a hurry even when I have plenty of time. Because my wife and good friends see it also.

It's early days, so nothing is settled. I have gone from a high of about 18 or 19 incidents in a week to a record low of 4 this past week. Thanks to God's work through this, I am doing better in traffic and at stores, but I have found new areas. I didn't even know how irritable I am in buffet lines (12 "incidents" in one evening!) or airport security. Each time is a prompt to reset myself before God:

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

I hope that these seasons of patience ("perseverance") in the little things produces the harvest Jesus talked about. As farmers know, no harvest ever came without perseverance and perseverance consists of day-after-day patience in the same direction as God does his life-changing work.

But with character, there is hope. Hope that I can actually be different. Hope that I can actually be the person that Christ imagines in me.