Psalm 16: Letting Go Of Our Dreams First

Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” I say of the holy people who are in the land, “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.” Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods or take up their names on my lips.

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. - Psalm 16

"Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."

This reminds me of another slightly deceptive verse in Psalms: "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 35:9) It seems to be saying that God will give you what you want. But that part about the desires of your heart is the second half of a sentence. The first half reads, "take delight in the Lord" then followed with "and he will give you the desires of your heart." That is: desire God and He will give you...God. He will give you what you want as long as what you want is God. 

The verses in our passage describe the "boundary lines" describing the edges of a plot of land, one inherited. But that part about boundary lines is the second half of a sentence. The first half describes the inheritance like this: "Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup." That is, the inheritance received is the Lord himself.

Our problem is that we want too little. Our desires are too small, too tepid, our imaginations are too  unambitious. We settle. We settle for so small. But giving up on choosing our boundary lines means that we inherit so much more. It is a scary thought. Sometimes we think that choosing the devil we know would be better than choosing the unknown what God would choose for us. We have to let go of our dreams first.  

1 Samuel 1:4-20: Brave Enough To Trust Him Now

Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”

As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.”

“Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”

Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”

She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.

Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”

When her husband Elkanah went up with all his family to offer the annual sacrifice to the Lord and to fulfill his vow, Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, “After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the Lord, and he will live there always.”

“Do what seems best to you,” her husband Elkanah told her. “Stay here until you have weaned him; only may the Lord make good his word.” So the woman stayed at home and nursed her son until she had weaned him.

After he was weaned, she took the boy with her, young as he was, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour and a skin of wine, and brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. When the bull had been sacrificed, they brought the boy to Eli, and she said to him, “Pardon me, my lord. As surely as you live, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the Lord. I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

The opinions of your rivals are not the opinions of God. People can make you feel miserable for something about which the Lord has the opposite opinion. Penenniah was probably insecure, seeing her husband favor the other wife. She was successful in the eyes of the people around her, increasing Elkanah's family with numerous happy events. But still he preferred her and gave her the special attention, like the double portion of the meat from the offering. So she took the one thing that was different between them-the ability to readily bear children-and attempted to make it the prime attribute by which Elkanah, her husband, should use to judge between them. Further, she used it as the attribute to continually remind Hannah aboutn And it was the attribute that the people around her would use as a sign that God was surely blessing her--not that other woman. She was insecure and used what she had to push Hannah down and it worked, making Hannah feel trapped and helpless and miserable. So she prayed.

One of the remarkable things about Hannah's response was that she wanted the answer to the prayer, but when she got it, she did not try to hold on so tightly. It reminds me of the way that Abraham was so desperate for a son that he manipulated things to try and get one in a way not ordained by God, using other people to try and make it happen. But at the end, when God demanded that he give Isaac as a sacrifice, he set out the next day to do it. He had learned to let go. 

So Hannah kept the child Samuel but then let him go. In many ways, that is what we do with children anyway. We raise them and then have to give them over to God. If we fail to do that, then we hurt them and dishonor God in thinking that he's not capable of raising them. I don't know that I would be as brave as Hannah at such a young age for my children, but I do hope I can be brave enough to trust him now.

Haiku: September 27-November 10

Air is still and warm
Yesterday the wind's blowing

Leaves return then fall.

Anxious thoughts untested

Seldom pausing or resting

Then I close my eyes.

The heat of summer

Lingers in the tree leaves

Before they change colors.

Anger never solves

Except for further anger--

To provide fuel.

When the week looks long,

One dose of inspiration

Is all that I need.

Mornings hold no chill

Skies promises no remorse

With relentless blue

Day looms with a cloud

I wish I could go back to bed

But the clock insists.

Hummingbirds sip tea

While watching their enemies

Drink on their enemies.

Only one problem 

Will keep me awake at night.

The moon is my friend. 

Gathering people. 

The murmur of soft voices

Then the first chord plays. 

Wrinkles seldom shock

Except when you smile or frown

More as you're older.

A man speaks no words

So he is considered wise

Even if he's a fool.

Carrots for rabbits

And apples fed to horses

Then cheese for the mouse

Heavy winds on shore

Shelter in place, run to hid

There is no place safe.

Half cup of water

Dirty dishes are waiting

Need to make breakfast.

Sat on wooden seats

Then to the padding of trains

Then to my pillow

I really should wake

Or do the thing I should do

Instead close my eyes.

The bird silhouettes

Apples sit on the table

Early morning light.

Hummingbird pauses

Takes a sip before going.

Watering house plants.

The world is quiet

In the dark of the morning

A cat wanders by.

The moon has risen

I survey the night landscape.

Owls glide silently.

Why am I worried?

I awake with the unanswered.

Lingering alert

Dig lawn in the front

Looking for grubs messily

At night, what is it?

Sleepy on the brain

Sunlight pays across my eyes

Rustling sounds behind

The smell of baked bread

Meets me when I come home

And a playful smile.

Studying Bible

Morning talks with friends go long

Excitement lingers

Did I learn new things?

Or learn how to use the old?

Each is exciting.

Flights home are waiting

But something is left behind

I'll go out again

Scream of winter jays

Bold because chicken is gone.

Taking the back yard.

Sleepy eyed morning.

The sky shifting and blue

My mind is waking.

Journal, bible, book.

Laid open on the table

All is in order.

Tree is tilted

Grape vine's trellis fell over

The wind has come through.

Look out the back door

The feel of the chill in the air.

Back in for a coat.

Looking for reasons.

Why are one more and one less. 

My reasons fail God.

The walk together.

Lightly discussing the day.

Then we fall silent.

Peach and green pumpkins

Resting on the side table.

Not to be eaten.

Reading the poems

Makes me think, chuckle, wince, cry, 

All in three brief lines

The Tales Of Fred And George: Chapter 6

Fred was a snake, green and glorious and quick. George was a turtle, mottled green and yellow and slow. They were friends, or at least one of them thought so.

But they both knew Bernadette, the sleek red racer from up the river who made Fred's tongue skip a slither whenever he thought of her.  They were a couple. Or at least one of them thought so. 

Fred was determined that Bernadette would see him for a sly smooth talker--the way he saw himself. But so far, his attempts to impress had been met with less than spectacular results. In fact, an outside observer might rightfully concluded that she didn't really know that Fred existed and when he thought deeply, that single thought crushed Fred's not-insubstantial ego.

How to get Bernadette to notice him? Toss that. How to get Bernadette to like him? He had tried to parade in front of his neighbors with her present. Failure. What he needed was for Bernadette to catch him in the act of some feat of derring-do! 

As he usually did when contemplating these deep questions, he went to consult with his friend George, who was idly circumnavigating one of the ponds formed by the handiwork of beavers in search for water bugs and small fish. And that was how most of George's days proceeded: wake, climb onto the log to catch the first rays of the morning sun, swim around the pond for lunch, another long stretch on the sun-warmed rocks with legs extended and then a quick nose around for dinner. 

Except when Fred happened by. Fred was one of the few sources of unadulterated excitement in George's life, so he always had time for Fred.

This time, Fred came to the edge of the slow eddy along the bank of the stream and gesticulated wildly to get George's attention, which involved waving his head back and forth in rapid movements and hoping that George noticed or at least heard his whispery voice from the shore. Finally George happened to swivel around and catch a glimpse of Fred's green dance on the short. 

"Hmmm?" he said, his mouth still full of cricket. 

"George!" Fred exclaimed. "You must help me, my friend. It is of the utmost import!"

George's heart managed to accelerate by a single beat per minute at the thought of his supreme importance. "Fred. Did...something...happen?"

"No, no nothing happened." Fred twitched impatiently.

"Oh." And George started to turn away.

"Nothing has happened yet. It is what must happen that is important." Fred quickly supplied.

"Oh. What must happen, Fred?" George queried, his heart accelerating yet one more beat.

"Well I don't rightly know, George." Fred answered.

"Oh." And George started to turn away, thinking where his next cricket might come from. Maybe by the tuft of dried grass?

"Wait! That's why I need your help. I need to know how to get Bernadette to be impressed with me. She's quite the fine red racer and I would like to know her better. You know, she would like me if she knew--if she saw how impressive I was."

"Hmmm...well, Fred, I don't know. What is so impressive about you?"

Fred was flabbergasted. I mean, this was his friend, right?

"I mean....I mean, I'm green....Oh...you were suggesting that I should I enumerate my outstanding qualities."

"Mmmm... yes, why would a snake of Bernadette's quality pay attention to you?"

"Well, really, George...oh, you did it again." Fred cocked his head to one side, his tongue flicking in and out idly. "Well, one, I am good looking." He struck several poses before his reflection in the still water at the river bank.  "Yes, very fine. Two, I am famous in this forest." 

Calling out to a passing otter in the river, he said, "Warren! Yes, over here on the shore. Warren, who am I?" "Why you are that snake that tricked me out of my second fish the other day!" answered the irritated otter. 

"See!" Fred exclaimed, "Famous among forest folk. Third, I slither swiftly." And he dashed around the base of the tree and then up to its lowest branches, so quickly that George lost sight of him. "Fred? Fred?" he called before he glimpsed Fred's form above him. "Oh, there you are Fred!"

"And, then, fourth and most importantly, I am clever and persuasive. Yes, very clever."

"Fred...how will you show that you are clever?"

"Well, I need to think about that bit. For someone as humble as I am, I'm not used to showing off or anything." And he went back to his thinking spot, high in the elm tree and George went back to his watching for crickets, nibbling of stream-side water cress and afternoon swims.

The next morning, when George emerged from the pond for his morning warm up session on the top of a handy toppled poplar log, Fred was nowhere to be seen. Not worried, George oriented his shell for best effect and lazily closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his shell and outstretched feet, and dreamt of slow swimming water bugs. 

Suddenly, whoosh, George felt the rushing of air on his belly and, opening his eyes, found he was sailing high above the woodland and the stream that meandered through it. 

"What? What?" cried out George in a croaking, plaintive voice and waved his legs ineffectivly in the air.

"Ah, hush! None of that. Keep your unimpressive mouth shut, you'll see your beloved pond again and I'll get my shiny coin that glints and glitters." croaked a voice from above, which, twisting his head about, George realized came from the black beak of Raven. Raven was was pumping his wings furiously to gain height.

George didn't understand. His mouth moved as he ruminated on the situation and finally, he had to say, "You do not eat turtles and we are not close friends to be joy-riding. So..." He thought more. "So...why are you carrying me?"

In answer, Raven banked to the left, which left George a little dizzy. Then Raven dived and George flailed his legs and opened his mouth wide in a wordless scream, wordless because turtles aren't really good screamers. Finally, Raven set George down in a grassy meadow clearing, released his claw grip on George's shell and hopped off to the side. Then, swinging his head, Raven looked to the left and the right with exaggerated care. When nothing happened at the first try, Raven tried again and let out a guttural croak. Still nothing. So they sat there in silence for almost one minute, before Fred's tiny green head popped up from the grass.   

"Where's Bernadette? She's late." Fred's looked around for a bit and then he shrugged and said, "Well, let's get on with it." And he rose up and rushed toward Raven and George aggressively. George was alarmed by Fred's advance and started to turn. Raven let out a sqwak and lept into the air, "Oh, bold sir snake, you have deprived me of my prize."

"Yeah, yeah." replied Fred. His tongue tasted disappointment and he grumbled, "She didn't come and I bet you still think you should be paid."

Raven circled overhead, "A deal is a deal. A deal is a deal. A deal is a deal. My gold shiny!"

Fred signed and called out, "In the crook of the ash. Help yourself." Then he plopped himself down on the top of a bare rock and addressed himself to George. "It was brilliant. Raven kidnaps you and pretends he will hurt you and I rush out and save you."

"But why?" George asked, not understanding. 

"Ah, that is the brilliant part. I invited the divine Bernadette up here for a picnic. The plan was perfect. Then Raven was supposed to drop you hear and threaten you and I would rush out and rescue you. When she saw that, she would see that I am a snake above the ordinary. Fred--extraordinary Fred--can rescue someone from the most dire of circumstances."

"But why?" George asked again. 

"What part of what I said did you not understand?" responded Fred, annoyed at himself for his plan's failure and at George for being his usual slow self.

"Oh, I understood. But why do this when Bernadette stopped by the pond to say that she couldn't come to your picnic today."