Haiku: August 23 - September 26

Morning temple walk
Student rushes out to school
Old woman limps in

Wandering at 4
Dark hides jogging and walking
Many surprises

Try to sleep longer

Wakefulness can't be denied

The sun is rising

Strange birds call above

Asking questions back and forth

Strange topics resound

Trains trundle onwards

Carry me home and away

Each direction new

Palm trees on bay shore 

Asphalt lots, old boats, parked cars

Background of sea blue

Old couple waits for trains

That carry their children home

Enjoying the sun

My mind is racing

My heart is already speeding

As if God forgot

Turtle in a box

Hands held out to give a gift

Eyes look to the side

Wake with a tight jaw

Chat seems unspoken presence

Pray asking to ease

It is not clear why

Suddenly I am awake

Unfinished dreams lost

Shadows falling longer

Striped across the patio

Illumination

Turn your smile on me

Let me see I have your favor

At least not anger

Down into the bones

Where peace must be to be real.

Not a cup of tea.

Summer and winter

Spring and fall, cycling again

Gray hair testifies.

The frown on you face

A look of concentration

Or maybe anger.

Wind pushes shadows 

Back and forth in my windows.

Squirrel dropping nuts

Walking in the dark

Mind racing, can't go to sleep.

Time to start praying.

See flickering lights.

Wonder if house will burn down.

Or just sleepless nights.

The call of the jays. 

The hummingbirds buzz and swoop.

Silence fills the gaps.

Chicken is waiting.

Follows me to and then from.

Always suspicious.

Helen is waiting. 

Making her offer and then 

Sitting beside me.

Paying lies with lies.

A poor substitute for truth

Costs are just deferred.

The shadow has moved.

A little from other mornings.

Orioles remain.

My mind is still blank

Til the thoughts come creeping in.

Like little spiders.

Enough wind stirs leaves.

Cool breath over the valley.

So I can breathe also.

Time is marching on.

Through days and changing seasons.

And I am older too.

Blooms have five petals.

And blackberries have five leaves.

Why does this have three?

To miss God's glory--

Acts of selective blindness

To miss my neighbor.

Go plunging headlong

To the end of a sentence

And forget the start.

Dog in a backyard

Walking path between houses.

Nothing but blue sky.

He's always working

At his work until this day

I too am working.

No meeting today.

They're busy celebrating.

For the holiday.

Dreaming of resting. 

Days without worry or doubt.

Would I just be bored?

Chilly air outside.

Early morning bids me welcome.

Coffee is waiting.

Disquieting noise.

Skitterings in the attic.

Mice are not my friends.

Falling on the roof.

Squirrels scamper back and forth.

Dropping fruits on us.

A pile of feathers. 

No gold running past my eyes.

Or demands for food.

The coop is silent.

No flutter of gold is seen.

She wanders elsewhere.

Waiting for the bus.

At night is sometimes lonely.

Or even scary.

James 5:13-20: Everything, Like With Your Best Friend

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. - James 5:13-20

 Whatever is going on, talk to God about it. Part of our attempt to protect ourselves is to hide what we is going on that isn't so beautiful or try to spin the narrative so that we come out looking ok. We often do that with prayer also, as if talking to God was like posting on Facebook. Talk about the good stuff, but hide the bad stuff unless we're really angry and then we tell the whole world how angry we are. But it seems to me that these verses teach a different approach: talk to God like your best friend. The thing about best friends is that are happy when you're happy and sad when you're sad and straightening you out when you've gone off course.  Hiding is a fear response and tells a lot about what we think of God. I know that when I pray I have to stop myself and talk to myself and say, "Tim, who are you trying to kid when you said that." So I have to rewind, rewind, rewind and try saying those prayers again, not the way my press release would read abut how my conversation with my best friend would read. Honest.

Psalm 124:1-8: As If We're Making It To The Final Episode

If the Lord had not been on our side—let Israel say—if the Lord had not been on our side when people attacked us, they would have swallowed us alive when their anger flared against us; the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away. Praise be to the Lord, who has not let us be torn by their teeth. We have escaped like a bird from the fowler’s snare; the snare has been broken, and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. - Psalm 124:1-8

When watching a basketball or football game, it is often sad and even painful to watch the video of the losing team. It is so painful that I would often change the channel rather than watching their misery. Watching the winning team and their success is easier. It's why I also like happy endings in movies, I guess. In most games, there's probably someone praying to win. So does it mean that God is with the one who prays the hardest? 

What does it mean if God is on your side? Does it mean that God is not on their side at the same time? If God wants the best for me, does it mean that God doesn't want the best for those who are attacking me. 

If I swap the roles, if they are the attacked and you are the angry, does that put God on their side? What if the best for me is for me to lose; to fail; to wallow; to stumble; to let someone else feel encouraged in their victory over me? What if God's purpose is not about me, but about us?

These psalms does not promise a lack of conflict. Instead they encourage us to remember God is with us in the conflict. We are not alone. So how would God act in my place, with my circumstances? We will make it to the final episode.   

Luke 6:27-38: Limited Resource Universe

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” - Luke 6:27-38

"We're living letters. Every time we love people without an agenda, we add a page." - Bob Goff

This whole message from Jesus in this section is about loving without an agenda--without an expectation of return on investment. And that's really tough, since we are finite beings with limited resources. Or rather, we live as if we have limited resources, assuming that there's no one there to back us up. Living in a limited resource universe says a lot about what we think of God.

Psalm 139:1-24: The 10 Seconds Before I Go Back To My Normal Life

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.

If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. - Psalm 139

The level of God's intimate knowledge of us can either be scary, disconcerting or comforting. What's amazing is that God's level of knowledge about us exceeds our own knowledge of ourselves. Our sleeping time and our future are outside the realm of our self-knowledge but they are within the scope of God's knowledge. Out knowledge lacks the perception of the "hemming behind and before" because our vision does not extend into the spiritual spectrum normally.  Our knowledge also does not reach into the thoughts of God--"how vast is the sum of them"

But those are not the most amazing part--the most amazing part is that God can know what makes me tick--"you know my thoughts from afar". The writer invites God into the land of motivations. "...know my heart. Test me..." Am I willing to let God see the messy part of my internal thoughts, where good and bad motives are mixed together in some sort of volatile cocktail? What if God sees what I'm thinking right before I pray? What if God sees how grateful I really am or am not? What if God knows the limited percentage of my thoughts that actually consider what He thinks? Am I willing to invite God into that? It is one thing to state that God knows everything, but another to really believe that God does know everything and afterwards to trust what he said: that he loves me. That is amazing and if I think about it for more than 10 seconds, it blows me away and then I go back to thinking about what's for lunch. Such is the life of Tim.

1 Corinthians 8:1-13: Being Right But Oh So Wrong

Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that “We all possess knowledge.” But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know. But whoever loves God is known by God.

So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that “An idol is nothing at all in the world” and that “There is no God but one.” For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”), yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.

But not everyone possesses this knowledge. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat sacrificial food they think of it as having been sacrificed to a god, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled. But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do.

Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall. - 1 Corinthians 8:1-13

I have historically liked to win arguments, with the right rebuttal for any opposing view. Some of these were well thought out and some were less well thought out but designed as the one line zinger. Satisfied that I had the answers to all possible points brought in support of a view I didn't agree with. As a high school student this made me a terror. In college, I still fought on as valiantly as before but for the first time, I ran into people who (a) I liked and (b) who intelligently disagreed with me. 

It was during this period that I learned what it meant when Paul said, "Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know." I didn't know as I ought to know. Strangely, this put me on the side of the weaker brother in this passage. I was the weaker brother.

In my final year of college, I recall a particular discussion I was having with my roommate, and I could not accept what he was saying. So I pulled out each and every trick in my bag, taking us down paths that I thought were sure-fire wins for me. But they weren't working that night. We plunged on into the early hours of the morning, my tactics became more and more desperate until I realized at some point, that I didn't care any more about my room mate, just about winning. I broke down in tears and could not explain, at least not coherently, to my friend what had just happened. In asserting my "rightness" I had forgotten about my friend.

That is what Paul is trying to help the Corinthian believers guard against. Being "right" but being oh so "wrong" because winning the argument and losing the friend is losing. I have never forgotten that night and it has changed how far I'm willing to go in order to be proven right.