Romans 8:26-39: Caring Through Disagreement

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:26-39

The worst sort of accusation is the charge of doing the right thing-when the right thing for the right reasons looks wrong. There are people who are advantaged by the fact that you look wrong. There are people who never look deeper than the appearances and make a snap judgment from which you must dig your way out. I remember when we had to dismiss someone from their very public role, I received notes and phone calls and was pulled aside for private chastisement. Because of the situation, I couldn't defend myself and it was hurtful when people who I thought of as friends and people I respected could not take, "Trust us, it is the right decision, but I can't tell you more." as an answer.

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things?" There is a point where you can do nothing and say nothing and must trust God when he says the same sort of things to me: "Trust me, it is the right decision, but I can't tell you more." Ultimately, God is the judge who will see through all  secrets. But trusting that is tough. 

The one thing I recognize now is that I did not add caring into my response. In these verses, God is careful to tell us "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" Trust is difficult if you don't really know how someone cares about you and in my situations before, my disagreements with people led me to withhold caring. But if I am to follow Jesus, care must extend through any disagreement.

Matthew 13:31-33, 44-52: Unexpected and Significant

He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”

He told them still another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough.” (31-33)

 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

“Once again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was let down into the lake and caught all kinds of fish. When it was full, the fishermen pulled it up on the shore. Then they sat down and collected the good fish in baskets, but threw the bad away. This is how it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come and separate the wicked from the righteous and throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

“Have you understood all these things?” Jesus asked.

“Yes,” they replied.

He said to them, “Therefore every teacher of the law who has become a disciple in the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old.”  - Matthew 13:31-33, 44-52

The kingdom of heaven is unexpected and insignificant. 

We don't expect that small seed to become a huge tree. We don't expect the few grains of yeast to have such a big impact. It is that one ordinary moment that, if you are watching closely, could be extraordinary. 

We don't expect these things to change our life, like the treasure found while working or the unexpected windfall in ordinary oysters. It is like being finding a lottery ticket and realizing that it is the winning winning MegaMillions lottery ticket and spending your bus fare or house payment or inheritance to buy that ticket. 

What we do understand is that sorting fish-the picking the good fish from the bad-is a normal activity which requires discernment. It is the same discernment pays attention and sees the amazing in the unexpected and the life-changing in the insignificant details. I think that my problem is that I get into a mode where I let so many details of life and so many people during the day and so many thoughts in my head slide by without really thinking that they are worthy paying attention to. But God puts many people, events and thoughts around me to provoke thoughts of the kingdom of heaven but doesn't always shove my face into them or repeat them. It is my job to look.

Genesis 29:15-28: Consequences of Our Own Desires

Laban said to him, “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.”

Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.”

Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.”

So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her. And Laban gave his servant Zilpah to his daughter as her attendant.

When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”

Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”

And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. - Genesis 29:15-28

We are enslaved by our desires. The people around us suffer from this. They cannot make us happy because we are fixated on the "one" thing that will make us happy: the right situation, the right job, the right house, the right wife, the right family. Jacob suffered because Laban recognized this fixation and took advantage of him. Leah suffered because she was never her husband's first choice and she knew it. Rachel suffered because her Jacob defined her as the "lovely" and "beautiful" one he wanted but he was so drunk on his wedding night that he didn't notice that it wasn't her but her sister. Jacob's family suffered because his favoritism for Rachel extended to her children, causing his other children to resent her son Joseph. As Proverbs 11:6 says, the "unfaithful are trapped by evil desires." 

I think that we are trapped by our desires and our choices cement those patterns of entrapment. It is so difficult to break out of them, even with the best of intentions. That is why we need a savior not just from our sins but from our own enslavement to our misplaced desires. Our blindness to the consequences of our own desires hurts us and hurts those around us. I see that gap in myself and recognize my need for Jesus. I wish I didn't need to see it so often.

Matthew 13:24-33: Premature Optimization is the Root of All Evil (or at least most of it)

Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

“The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’

“‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’

“‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”

He told them still another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough.” - Matthew 13:24-33

It was one of the pioneers of programming, Donald Knuth, who said: “The real problem is that programmers have spent far too much time worrying about efficiency in the wrong places and at the wrong times; premature optimization is the root of all evil (or at least most of it) in programming.” Premature optimization is spending a lot of time on something that you may not actually need. 

In Jesus' parable, rooting out the weeds too early is premature optimization, because although it has some benefits-like give more room, sunlight and nutrients-it risks disrupting the outcomes for the most important resource--the wheat. The servants ask if they can just deal with the problem "efficiently" but Jesus says it is the wrong place and wrong time. If the "weed reduction" uproots  the wheat, then the dead wheat becomes just as bad as a weed--feeding no one. Maybe  our focus should be more on fertilizing the wheat rather than round-upping the weeds and trust that God's good DNA will bring them through. 

I also wonder if God intends that some of those "weeds" may turn out to be wild grains. Or maybe God intends sneak a few good seeds into that which the devil sowed. 

Romans 8:12-25: Am I A Credit to My Family

Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.  - Romans 8:12-25

Sometimes we who work for a salary are termed wage slaves. We may or may not be able to switch employers, but we still need to work for someone--an employer or a customer-because we need what they can provide. We give up some of our freedom and our strength in exchange for tokens (money) that someone else will accept in exchange for gods that we need or want. 

The world of the New Testament was built on many types of relationships: slave, master, freedman, citizen, foreigner, beggar. But each of these relationships was ultimately transactional: you do something for them and they will do something for you. Slaves gave up their freedom or had their freedom taken from and received livelihood at the discretion of their masters. 

But there was another type of relationship-the familial relationship-that was not transactional. In its ideal form, the parents poured into the children, not expecting a return other than gratitude at the relationship. God didn't give his Spirit to gain something from us-toe put us in debt (the usual way people entered slavery initially in Roman times). Paul says, "The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you have to live in fear again." No, the gift of the Spirit moved us away from that transactional model of relationships by making us sons, "...rather the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship...Now if we are children then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ." From the market place, we transition the family. 

When I reimagine my relationship with God the Father and God the Son in these terms, it is a great freedom and a great obligation. Family is not transactional, but it does come with responsibility: our actions are no longer just our own, but reflect on the rest of the family-one the parents, the siblings. Yes, they love us but they can be hurt when we don't. Will I love the Father and my brother Jesus in equal measure with how they love me? Not to gain credits that I can spend. But to love them.

Genesis 28:10-19: Surely God was in this place

Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Harran. When he reached a certain place, he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. There above it stood the Lord, and he said: “I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.”

Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had placed under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it. He called that place Bethel, though the city used to be called Luz. - Genesis 28:10-19

We have a calendar that consists entirely of pictures of piles of rocks of various shapes stacked on each other. The piles are called "cairns" and recently there has been a debate in national parks as to whether visitors should knock these over. In one park, there are so many created by visitors that the rangers have authorized their tumbling. But in another, rangers discourage the tearing down of cairns because int he wilderness, these cairns have been set up as landmarks mean to guide hikers back to the trailhead.

Jacob builds a cairn from the rock he was resting his head on after an uncomfortable night of sleep that had been filled with the most incredible, vivid dreams. "Surely the Lord is in this place and I was not aware of it." 

For us, there is a place or a time when we become acutely aware of God's presence. Not that he wasn't already always there. We just weren't aware that he was there. 

Imagine that moment when you are just doodling on your paper when you suddenly realize that the person you like is in the room and watching you. That can be an exhilarating moment or a scary moment, depending on what you were doing and how you think they think about you. But the awareness of the presence of that person changes the entire atmosphere of the room. When the intersection of place and time are stamped into our brain, it becomes a monument. Like Jacob's rock pile in the desert. Like when I realized that my (then) girlfriend had said yes on a night bus to Manila. Seared into my brain. 

Jacob has been in trouble, has a transcendent dream of God and angels in heaven, and wakes from his sleep with the images still in his brain. That is why he says, "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven."

These landmarks--these cairns--are the way we navigate. Not by rules or maps but by the signposts of God's presence. We track these so we can say, "Surely God was in this place!"

 

Romans 7:15-25: The Hero of my Story

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. - Romans 7:15-25

What do you do when you're in an argument with yourself? This feels like the plot of a typical good guy vs. bad guy story, where both sides are equally powerful, but the bad guy can use all of the possible tactics but the good guy is limited by his moral compass to only do good things. 

"For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me." Even as God is renewing our mind and changing, slowly but surely, the things that we delight in, there is the legacy of desires from my self which seek to reassert their dominance of my will. My self has history with these desires--learned inclinations from the self-centered childhood through the self-centered adulthood. I am comfortable with them. I can slip back into them and know exactly what I am getting. The fact that they lead towards death is a distant consideration compared to the immediate gratification that living according to their dictates provides. The good guy loses because the bad guy looks like the real-world winner.

That is why I need rescue: "Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" One of the trickiest parts of winning this battle is that you must be willing to admit that you need rescue. That the "good guy" is not going to win all on his own, but will only prevail if he is willing to submit. Swapping "prisoner of the law" for "slave to God's law" I can no longer be the hero of my story. Jesus is.

 

Psalm 45:10-17: A Haiku For The Queen

Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father’s house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

The city of Tyre will come with a gift, people of wealth will seek your favor. All glorious is the princess within her chamber; her gown is interwoven with gold.

In embroidered garments she is led to the king; her virgin companions follow her—those brought to be with her.

Led in with joy and gladness, they enter the palace of the king.

Your sons will take the place of your fathers; you will make them princes throughout the land.

I will perpetuate your memory through all generations; therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever. - Psalm 45:10-17

Listen to father
O daughter now dressed so fine
Time to forget me 

Now another man

Must take my place in your heart

No time for sadness

Joy now not regret

Gladness for new beginnings

None will forget you

Held back by regret?

Or does the next adventure

With God draw me on?

Genesis 24:34-67: Impatience to Follow

So he said, “I am Abraham’s servant. The Lord has blessed my master abundantly, and he has become wealthy. He has given him sheep and cattle, silver and gold, male and female servants, and camels and donkeys. My master’s wife Sarah has borne him a son in her old age, and he has given him everything he owns. And my master made me swear an oath, and said, ‘You must not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I live, but go to my father’s family and to my own clan, and get a wife for my son.’

“Then I asked my master, ‘What if the woman will not come back with me?’

“He replied, ‘The Lord, before whom I have walked faithfully, will send his angel with you and make your journey a success, so that you can get a wife for my son from my own clan and from my father’s family. You will be released from my oath if, when you go to my clan, they refuse to give her to you—then you will be released from my oath.’

“When I came to the spring today, I said, ‘Lord, God of my master Abraham, if you will, please grant success to the journey on which I have come. See, I am standing beside this spring. If a young woman comes out to draw water and I say to her, “Please let me drink a little water from your jar,” and if she says to me, “Drink, and I’ll draw water for your camels too,” let her be the one the Lord has chosen for my master’s son.’

“Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out, with her jar on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water, and I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’

“She quickly lowered her jar from her shoulder and said, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too.’ So I drank, and she watered the camels also.

“I asked her, ‘Whose daughter are you?’

“She said, ‘The daughter of Bethuel son of Nahor, whom Milkah bore to him.’

“Then I put the ring in her nose and the bracelets on her arms, and I bowed down and worshiped the Lord. I praised the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who had led me on the right road to get the granddaughter of my master’s brother for his son. Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn.”

Laban and Bethuel answered, “This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has directed.”

When Abraham’s servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the Lord. Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother. Then he and the men who were with him ate and drank and spent the night there.

When they got up the next morning, he said, “Send me on my way to my master.”

But her brother and her mother replied, “Let the young woman remain with us ten days or so; then you may go.”

But he said to them, “Do not detain me, now that the Lord has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master.”

Then they said, “Let’s call the young woman and ask her about it.” So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?”

“I will go,” she said.

So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham’s servant and his men. And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you increase to thousands upon thousands; may your offspring possess the cities of their enemies.”

Then Rebekah and her attendants got ready and mounted the camels and went back with the man. So the servant took Rebekah and left.

Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?”

“He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.

Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.  - Genesis 24:34-67

It says that "he [Isaac] went out to the field one evening to meditate..." It appears that Abraham has already died and Sarah, his mother, is not well. Some time it takes a moment to pause and see what God is doing. The day is full of tasks, but the night sometimes brings clarity, a de-stimulation necessary to be aware of the voice of God. 

When I used to drive to the Bay Area on a regular basis, or was flying to Seattle every other week for my job, or when the hours stretch out between Taiwan and San Francisco, there is a temptation to cease--to sleep, or to fill the hours with stimulating miscellanea such as my books or play list. But I have learned that I must reserve time--still time--to listen for the voice of God. Sometimes it is not much, just a nudge. Other times, the Spirit has moved me to tears, reminding me of what is important. Sometimes it is clarity over something in my job or a train of thought that I've been noodling on for quite a while. And yet other times, it is nothing--rest.

There are times when I resist the silence. I am uncomfortable with my own thoughts and where they might lead me. So I choose active ignorance. Not knowing the answer and not sure that I want to know it.

It seems to me that Abraham, Isaac, the servant and Rebekah are each given time apart to consider and let God direct their paths. It isn't always long--Rebekah turned down the longer time given. Once she was sure, she was sure.  I pray that can leave time to sense the Spirit moving and willingness and impatience to follow.