How to Defend Myself (2 Corinthians 11:30)

How do you defend yourself? In my limited lifetime, I have been accused of many things: upstaging other people, arrogance, exceeding my authority, callousness, incompetence and more. Both privately and in front of churches, people have critiqued by behavior, my intelligence, my beliefs and my character. Truthfully, I am blind to many of my own faults and all aware of too many of my virtues.

Like grit in my teeth, the comments of people bother me. Sometimes I want to respond. Sometimes I should respond. But I am not sure how to handle it, because my self likely taints any response. So I read again Paul with great interest in the later part of his second letter to the Corinthians (chapters 10 to 13), where he writes to address various critiques that have been leveled against him.

There is a tone of hurt in Paul's words. But he returns again and again to this thought:

³⁰ If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. - 2 Corinthians 11:30

Pride hides weakness by displays of strength or, if that fails, by diverting attention. But Paul draws attention to his own discomfort, embarassment, struggles and hurt so that God's power and God's ability to transform lives will be highlighted.

One time I was feeling irritable and someone made a comment--a mixture of truth and ill-will--that made me burn inside. Knowing my own tendency in these situations, I had earnestly prayed that God would allow his character (rather than my own) grow and show thorugh in my life. In that moment, the lie of self-preservation was revealed and the peace of God redeemed the situation. I am so thankful. I am still an angry man at times, but God's character manages to win out.

People in seasons of sickness, or in times of intense loss and confusion can be self-absorbed, because that is the nature of pain, to draw attention. But those who let those cracks in their health and surety shine God's sustaining mercy are my teachers. I hope, in my difficult seasons, God may show himself in me as he has shown in them.

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9b

I don't defend my failures. I look to God to redeem them.

¹⁸ For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends. - 2 Corinthians 10:18