Colossians 3:18-4:1: Leadership Qualities

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism. Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

Introduction: Mutual Obligation
In an article in by Rukmini Callimachi of the Associated Press entitled, “She was the slave living next door.” Late at night, the neighbors in Irvine saw a little girl at the kitchen sink of the house next door. They watched through their window as the child rinsed plates under the open faucet. She wasn't much taller than the counter and the soapy water swallowed her slender arms. To put the dishes away, she climbed on a chair.
But she was not the daughter of the couple next door doing chores. She was their maid. The U.S. State Department found that over the past year, children have been trafficked to work as servants in at least 33 of Africa's 53 countries. Children from at least 10 African countries were sent as maids to the U.S. and Europe. But the problem is so well hidden that authorities -- including the U.N., Interpol and the State Department -- have no idea how many child maids now work in the West.

As we finish up the third chapter of Colossians, Paul begins to give specific instructions based on an idea he described in verse 11:

Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. – Colossians 3:11

Of course, even after Paul wrote these words, there were, in fact, still Greeks, Jews, barbarians, Scythians, slaves and free people. But equality was not based on race or age or gender, culture or language or social status, but because God had chosen us. We are equally chosen, equally redeemed and equally commissioned by God.

The next few verses, up through verse 1 of chapter 4, list three sets of relationships: husband and wife, parent and child, master and slave. In both the Jewish and the Greek world, these relationships were all lopsided, with one party had decidedly more power, more privilege and less obligation than the other. Wives were the property of their husbands and could be dismissed. Children were the slaves of their parents and could be sold to pay the family’s debts. Slaves were the property of their masters and their children were property.

When Paul says that these distinctions in verse 11 are unimportant, he is setting up an identity crisis. How can he say that all of these types of people are the same? How can Jews be considered the same as non-Jews? How can Greeks be equal to barbarians? How can slaves be worth as much as free men?

If these groups of people are equally chosen, it means that between you and me and anyone else that God has chosen, there is equal obligation. Not identical obligation, but obligations of equal weight, based on our roles.

These were radical words and have proved to be a forceful motivation for everything from the Declaration of Independence to the Emancipation Proclamation to the Suffrage Movement and the Civil Rights Movement.

Wives and Husbands
In Jewish traditions, marriage consisted of two separate acts: kiddushin (the engagement ceremony) and nissu’in (the wedding). In kiddushin , the couple’s personal status was changed. In nissu’in, the legal consequences of the change in status happened. In Bible times, these ceremonies took place about a year apart.

Thus Jesus’ language in John 14: “Behold I go to prepare a place for you” and “In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places” were rightly understood by his followers as the language of marriage.

The traditional Jewish wedding is based on the Jewish principles of contract and the transfer of property or of rights. The marriage contract (“kethubah”) is read publicly and witness are required for the signing of this and the ceremony. The marriage contract lays out rights of the wife (to monetary payments upon termination of the marriage by death or divorce), and obligations of the husband (providing food, shelter, and so on).
Three times in the New Testament, instructions are given to husbands and wives:

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. – Colossians 3:18-19

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. …Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her…holy and blameless…However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband – Ephesians 5:22ff

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that , if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives…Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. – 1 Peter 3:1ff

Let me make three points related to mutual obligation:

• Submission is commanded of all people. But it seems to be a specific problem for wives, mentioned three times in the New Testament by two different authors.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21

• Loving each other is commanded of all people. But it seems to be a specific problem for husbands, mentioned twice by Paul. Twice it is paired with phrases that imply a problem with physical and/or verbal abuse.
• God links together our own spiritual advancement with the advancement of our spouse. It is very difficult to progress far if your spouse is not also advancing.

Children and Parents
Again, with children and parent we see a pattern of mutual obligation between parties who were traditionally unequal.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. – Colossians 3:20-21

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:1-4

In Jewish, Greek and Roman culture, children became adults and saddled with full responsibility much earlier; as early as 12 years old for girls and 13 years old for boys. At this point, they could be married, have children, participate in religious life and hold a job. But the pattern of influence and obedience to parents would often last much longer as multiple generations would live and work together. When a man was married, the parents would enlarge their home and the new couple would often live there for much of their life.

In these verses, Paul stresses the problem of obedience on the part of the children and the part of stubbornness and harshness on the part of fathers. Children who obey get long life. Fathers who obey get blessed children.

Slaves and Masters
If you walked down a typical street in Rome during the 1st century, 50% or more of the people you would see would be slaves. Slaves not only occupied the lowest part of society, they also occupied many of the most educated and skillful doctors, tutors, artists and engineers. That is, their usefulness and their status were completely separate in Roman times. Most slaves were war captives or else the children of slaves. Soon after slaves were captured, wholesale slave dealers would buy them from the army’s quartermaster and then transport them to the major cities throughout the empire for sale at auction.

The master's power over the slave was called (dominica potestas), and it was absolute. Torture, degradation, unwarranted punishment, and even killing a slave when he was old or sick, in the eyes of the law, slaves were property who could not legally hold property, make contracts, or marry, and could testify in court only under torture.

The story of the book of Colossians revolves around the story of Onesimus, whose name simply means “Useful”. He is only mentioned once in the book:

Tychicus will tell you all the news about me. He is a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. He is coming with Onesimus, our faithful and dear brother, who is one of you. – Colossians 4:7-8

So when Onesimus returned to Colossae, he faced a congregation that knew what he had done. And that congregation included his master, Philemon. In addition to this letter from Paul to the Colossians, he carried with him another, where Paul asks for Onesimus’ life.

Some time earlier, Onesimus had run away to the great city of Rome. At this time, Rome had probably been the first city in the world to exceed 1 million people. And in that mass of people, it was easy for a runaway slave to disappear. During his time in Rome, Onesimus somehow meets Paul in jail, and comes to Christ. His life changed, he now decides that he must return to his master again, even though the punishment for a first-time runaway was to be branded with the letter “F” on his forehead (for fugitivus) and sometimes a metal collar bolted around his neck.

It is in this context that Paul writes:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism. Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven. – Colossians 3:22-4:1

In these verses, we can hear a possible echo of the complaints of Onesimus and his sin as well. Paul speaks to slackers and kiss-ups: “not only when their eye is on you” and “not only…to win their favor” Paul speaks to bully boss who play favorites and abuse their power. “what is right and fair”

It is in this context that Paul nearly repeats what he has said in verse 17:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. – Colossians 3:17

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men…

For both the servant and the master, the same motive: they both serve God. “It is the Lord Christ you are serving” “You also have a master in heaven” Here they both have the same motivation, but different responses.

Conclusion: Brothers And Sisters
Nowhere is this change in status and breakdown in distinctions more apparent in the use of the terms “brother “ and “sister”.

Your [Philemon’s] love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints. – Philemon 1:7

Perhaps the reason he [Onesimus’] was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good— no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. – Philemon 1:15