Haiku: December 24 - February 17

Mysteries abound
but I like well-worn sofas
for my ignorance.

Seven umbrellas

Shelter our heads to the bus

Laughing, relieved gasps

Running man to cross

Red man to draw me up short

Rain puddles, splatters

When the morning breaks

You turn your smile on me til

When dusk settles in.

Sketched for me to find, 

You draw worlds out from a phrase

Found at sentence depth.

 

Sleep on empty days?

I wish but there's more to do.

Let out a deep sigh.

The sound of footsteps

Either a mouse or a grown child

Just one is louder.

I can see blue skies

Through the gaps in tree branches.

Still yearning for leaves.

Week before New Year:
Left over Christmas regret

Mixed with unclaimed cheer.

Lights pulse with music.

Crowds pause to take their selfies.

Wander nighttime paths.

Change of the season.

Marked by the lengthening days. 

New Year starts slowly.

Grey skies and grey fog.

Obscured trees line the distance.

Birds are still sleeping. 

Trees like fragile sticks

Stand sentry along the road

With ragged salutes.

Hummingbird darts out

From between winter flowers. 

Seeking sustenance. 

Took the long road home 

(the short road is too scary)

But it was worth it.

Crossing morning grass

Birds peck through leaves for breakfast.

"Something must be there!"

Wind can't stir the trees.

Leaves fallen, bagged and removed.

Rain pushes the sky.

Which way should I walk?

Into the field or forest?

Its such a nice day.

Ember glow on hills

Silhouette of the morning

Foreshadows the dawn.

Leave the promised land.

Not so "promised" any more.

Move to "hopeful" place.

Oceans separate

And I can't afford to call.

I'll write a letter.

That my inmost thoughts

Are known is both comforting

And terrifying.

Sleepy eyelids droop.

My head nods over and falls.

Til a jerk brings it up. 

Smell of bread rises up

The stairs to where I'm working.

Soon I will descend.

Thoughts barely fitting

In the confines of my head

Wait! Now another!

Exalted on high

Neck aches and eyes are blinded

Anxious eyes look up. 

New course corrections.

Back on the previous track.

Try the next exit.

Birds splashing water.

Then check each ruffled feather.

Then fly fully groomed.

Heart's eyes cannot see

If they're not fully opened.

Lord, open them, please!

So deep and profound

The voice of God speaks across

Ages, to reach our days.

Cycle by cycle

Speaking across the ages.

Forming into words. 

Not stumble, fall, rise

But discover and explore

Further up and in.

Alas, it's fallen.

The city of the mighty

In which they trusted.

Lone flower waiting

Expecting in the morning

Winter sun's glow.

Gray looks good on you. 

Unusual vibrancy.

Sign before more years.

Coffee pours, fragrant.

Into the mug, my hand waits.

To lift for a sip.

Like plans without thought

Is the life without the Lord. 

Can't see, can't do well.

At the kitchen table

It is tough to determine

The shape of the world.

Birds under wet leaves.

Darting out to grab a bite

Dodging the rain drops.

Go to sleep one night

Wake to a whole new morning.

Were they connected.

Coming back to life

Temporarily on hold 

For a trip abroad.

1 Corinthians 15:1-11: All Fools Before Christ

Now, brothers and sisters, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.

For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born.

For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. Whether, then, it is I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed. - 1 Corinthians 15:1-11

"Whether, then, it is I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed." There is a foolish desire to be unique in what we believe-that somehow we are the one or among the few who have seen and believed the truth--but this is just foolishness. There were many smart people in Corinth--those who could parse ideas and grasp their implications with the best--and they took joy in exploring those big thoughts and in discussing them to find the jewels to be discovered therein--and they took pride in being able to do that with an ease that surpassed the others around them. 

I know that joy. I hear the echoes of my own pride when I read Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 11:5 where he said "I do not think I am in the least inferior to those “super-apostles.” He was that guy who excavated the nuggets of truth and confounded his debate opponents. But when he encountered Jesus--the same Jesus whose church he had been persecuting--he found out what a fool he had been and how far he had missed the truth.  About himself he wrote, "For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God."

And Paul saw that in the Corinthians--that same joy, that same pride, that same arrogance, that same...foolishness. To have been so smart and so wrong. To have been so close and yet missed the truth about Jesus, about his life, death and resurrection from the dead. 

And I see it in me--that same joy, that same pride, that same arrogance, that same...foolishness. I have been so smart and often so wrong. So I must return like Paul, like the Corinthians, to Jesus the Christ who, after he "died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared" The rest is a working out of the implications of these truths, which none of us worked out on our own, but which all of us need equally. That puts us on an even playing field, all fools before Christ.

Luke 5:1-11: If Jesus Could Do That With Fish, Imagine...

One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. - Luke 5:1-11

In my career, it has not been uncommon to find people who know more about the technology behind my job than me, even after 30+ years in the business. The real trick I have found is distinguishing between the really knowledgeable people and the pretenders. The pretenders have learned the skill of using key words in correct phrases learned from experts in ways that make it seem like they have a deep understanding of the technology. I recognize this skill because I have used it often myself. 

That was probably how Simon Peter felt when Jesus gave the order to cast their nets again in the "deep water". What he thought was that Jesus was the "pretender" who was wasting their time having them fish in seas where the fish weren't biting. But he grudgingly complied. Didn't cost too much work: empty nets wouldn't be that hard to pull back in. 

But Jesus showed that he was not a pretender. His suggestion led to real results, showing that he knew fish better than the fishermen. 

In my job, that's when I know that someone has surpassed me: when their solutions work, but were not suggestions that I would have thought of. Not because I want to set myself as "judge" over them, but shows that they are at a level of expertise so that I can leave that particular technology area alone because I have confidence that they can cover it at least as well or better than me.

Peter knew he reached that point on that day. He begged Jesus to leave. Neither he nor his partners could survive competing with a fisherman who could read the minds of the fishes or direct them into the nets at will. Essentially he asked Jesus to find his own fishing grounds.

Jesus replies that he is thinking too small: if Jesus could do that with fish, just think of what he could accomplish with people. And he's not in competition. He's inviting Peter to join. 

Long ago, I figured out that God was a better engineer than I am, no matter how good I am or how good I might become. Glad I finally acknowledged that and joined him. In engineering and so many other parts of my life. 

Psalm 138: The slow, uncertain, stubborn project which is Tim

I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; before the “gods” I will sing your praise. I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for your unfailing love and your faithfulness, for you have so exalted your solemn decree that it surpasses your fame. When I called, you answered me; you greatly emboldened me.

May all the kings of the earth praise you, Lord, when they hear what you have decreed. May they sing of the ways of the Lord, for the glory of the Lord is great.

Though the Lord is exalted, he looks kindly on the lowly; though lofty, he sees them from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand you save me. The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands. - Psalm 138

"Though the Lord is exalted, he looks kindly on the lowly; though lofty, he sees them from afar." For me, I imagine what it must be like to be God, keeping track of so many people at the same time. If you are trying to decide who to track, you'd probably track the movers and shakers of the world--the influencers-because you really have to watch what they are doing, since what they do matters most to so many people. Those who were going the direction you want would get help--buffs or angel help and the like--and those who were not going in the direction you want would not get help--tripping over their shoelaces, missed phone calls, extra sick days. 

But that is not the experience of this writer who finds that God seems to notice the "lowly" in trouble. What does God get out of it by helping those who are struggling? Doesn't it seem strange that he uses his strength to push history forward by backing those who are stumbling and falling? Certainly not conserving his resources by going about whatever his plan is in such an inefficient method. Face it, most of us wouldn't pass any sort of job performance review. He spends a lot on losers. So much so that the writer of this Psalm asks God, "do not abandon the works of your hands." He appreciates how God has worked to support someone who was righteous but failing "The Lord will vindicate me..." he writes.

God has spent a lot on me--on the slow, uncertain, stubborn project which is Tim. And he does this over and over, not just with Tim, but again with so many people.  God wants to be surrounded by those who are grateful, not those who think they deserve. Those who think they deserve are the delusional ones, while the "lowly" have gotten a pretty good look at what they deserve and are glad that God doesn't give them that.