Matthew 6:11: Today, Grace Arrived Because God Thought Of Me Days Before

Give us today our daily bread. - Matthew 6:11

When I was a young boy it was my mother's regular habit to inspect our rooms-and even our closets-before we were allowed to watch our hour of television. So it was on one occasion that she discovered my cache of vitamins, granola bars and other miscellaneous items. Marching me before the closet door, she demanded to know what this was all about.

"In case I should want to run away." I informed her.
"Are you planning to run away?" she asked.
"No, not really." I replied tersely.
"Then why?"
"Just if I should need to?"
"Well, if you think you need to, we should talk about it."

Then she promptly gathered all my hoarded items and put them away. We never spoke of it again.

The sermon at our church was on verse 11 of the Lord's Prayer by pastor Kent Carlson provoked my recollection. What would such a life-style of keeping back bits reveal about our opinion of God and our satisfaction with his provision for us.  I'm sure my mother was worried what was inside my young head when she found my running-away cache. Was it a commentary on how I saw our relationship as mother or our situation as a family at that point?

My wife, Helen, told me of an occasion where her mother brought her home an apple from the far-away household where she worked. The apple was so unique and precious that Helen would admire it and smell it. She admired it so much that she could not bring herself to eat it until--finally--the emaciated, rotten apple had to be discarded.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. - Matthew 6:26

What is it that the pea-sized brains of birds know that our 3+ pound brain can't grasp? That today has enough supply for what he wants for us today. That our lives are a necessary celebration of God's goodness. That our needs are met through vast, incomprehensible systems of nature, labor and commerce which God manages to the benefit of his children to arrive each day. That we receive far more than we remember to ask for. 

We can't eat tomorrow's bread. I will not take it for granted that today's bread, or shelter, or health this morning arrived on schedule, but instead regard it as the grace it truly is.

Give us, Father, what we need today. I'm so glad you do-that many days before, you started thinking of what I would need today so that I wouldn't need to worry, because you are good. Amen.

Proverbs 24:32: We Can Only Possess What We Experience

We can only possess what we experience.

Truth, to be understood, must be lived.

There is a difference, a qualitative difference,

Between what I know as a fact and what I know as truth.

It stands as a great divide to separate my thinking

From when I'm thinking foolishly and when I've understood.

- Charlie Peacock, Experience, The Secret of Time

My wife worked for the Department of Agriculture in a rice-growing country. As a young, unassigned researcher, she was the chosen recipient of a bag of potatoes and a guide to growing potatoes. She read the book intently, from cover to cover, because she had no real experience with potatoes or their requirements. Potatoes weren't like rice. There were few potatoes available in the markets. Her family's generations of rice-growing experience was of little use.

So, book in hand, she experimented, planted, harvested and presented her results. Some things worked. Other things didn't. The book had word and diagrams that pointed at truth. But it did not become truth for her until those tubers and that soil and that fertilizer passed through her hands.

Life works this way. We have guidelines-heuristics-rules of thumb-proverbs-that others have gathered for us, that we use to shortcut decision making and bypass mistakes all the time. These guidelines are necessary, but it is experience that leads us through that to the other side. "As long as 'received teaching' doesn't become experiential knowledge, we're going to continue creating a high quantity of disillusioned ex-believers. Or on the flip-side, we'll manufacture very rigid believers who simply hold on to doctrines in very dry, dead ways with nothing going on inside."[1]

The book of Proverbs is wonderful. It shortcuts straight to the bottom line in life. It distills pages of theology and hours of reasoning into a few words designed to instruct. Those words point the way, but you have to watch a few fools in their folly, or be one yourself before the gut level impact of the truth comes home.  The pattern of the wise can be described, but its rewards require first-hand experience.

Truth cannot grab us until it has been filtered through our lives-until our lives have depended upon it. Consider: It is one thing to know that poverty exists, know the effects of poverty and the means of its alleviation. It is another to be poor.

Experience requires time. I often wished I was more mature than I am, where the truth I knew flowed seamlessly into the choices that I made. I wish that there was never a time when I was not mature (mainly so I wouldn't need to forget my penchant for the epic faux pas). Thankfully, though, time and the grace of God have smoothed some rough edges and weathered away stubborn flaws.

Proverbs says, "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." (Proverbs 16:31) Living in an age that idolizes youthfulness, we sometimes forget that the core problems for people have not changed: anger, love, selfishness, bitterness, grief, desire, self-deception, envy and malice. Those dynamics have not altered, and wisdom acquired in those storms still holds true.

I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: - Proverbs 24:32

 What I experience now is really all I will carry with me into eternity.  I pray that my hard-earned graying hair speaks to truth that has settled deeply in my soul. Amen.

[1] Richard Rohr, The Divine Dance (What Hods Us Back from Genuine Spiritual Experience?)

Psalm 40: Waiting Is Active

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. - Psalm 40:1

Around my house, I would not be characterized as a person who likes to wait. I'm usually the first person in the car. I'm usually the one who has timed things down to the minute. I am the one who has comments about those people in restaurants who only make up their mind what to order when they've reached the counter.

For me, waiting is not a passive thing--waiting is active. I must consciously restrain myself from fidgeting, pacing, or grumbling. When waiting, I am full of nervous energy. I feel uncomfortable in the nothing periods before the something happens. In a word, I am impatient.

While I have become more capable at restraining the outward signs of my impatience, inwardly I am still focused on the then rather than the now--a bubbling cauldron of anticipation. Rather than being patient, I have adopted the appearance of stoicism.

Recently, I have started to watch how I respond to waiting, not outwardly, but inwardly. Sometimes, I just bubble - replaying my plans or worries or frustrations. Sometimes, I try blankness, a mental state with deliberate lack of focus. Sometimes, I try to distract myself by engaging my attention through some small chore, activity, or FaceBook or a game--keeping busy.

But these activities waste much of the value of waiting. Many times God can't seem to get a word in edgewise because I am so busy. So he introduces a wait into my life, so I can hear him. Then I promptly ruin a perfectly good waiting period by finding ways to fill it.

Look at the things David was able to do during his waiting period:

1. Learn a new song from God (Ps. 40:3). 
2. Avoid spiritual shortcuts (Ps. 40:4). 
3. Take a break from doing stuff for God and, instead really, hear from God (Ps. 40:6). 
4. center himself on God's agenda rather than his own (Ps. 40:7-8).
5. Encourage others (Ps. 40:9-10). 
6. Talk honestly with God about his problems, including the ones that were self-inflicted. (Ps. 40:12ff).

When I notice that I am struggling with waiting (I don't always notice it when its happening), I try to pull back and use the opportunity God is giving me.

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. - Proverbs 16:32