"In the absence of a real father, I had a cast of characters that were at times hilarious, pitiful, perfect, kind and wise." - Donald Miller, Father Fiction, p. 5How many of those I care about grew into adulthood without a father in the house? Several. The stories are different, but the emotions are similar. Many of those struggle themselves in their relationships, priming the cycle to repeat. It also makes it difficult to understand our relationship with God the Father, forcing us to rely on other analogies and descriptions. Consider Paul's powerful call to spiritual freedom in his letter to the Romans:
When Jesus purchased us from sin and death, where we were slaves, he did not merely make us slaves again under a new, more benevolent regime. Rather he adopted us as children and co-heirs of the vast privilege conferred upon Jesus.The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. - Romans 8:15-17
But is that a good thing? For those whose experience within families has been generally positive, it may be hard to even understand this question. "Of course its a good thing!" But for those whose relationship with parents has been painful, confusing or absent the idea of placing God into the Father role may not seem so appealing.
In fact, the slave role may seem simpler and less emotionally risky. Commands are given on one hand and carried out on the other. I don't have to like the Master, I just have to obey the Master. Do what He wants, no one gets hurt, I pay a well-defined cost resulting in well-defined benefits, and my emotions are my own.
The role of Father (or, worse, Abba or Daddy!) carries with it the expectation that I should love God, that I should feel something for God, that I should long to be near him. Uncertain about fathers in general, some might wonder whether they want to slot God into that role in their lives.
There is fear there. Fear of putting any person or institution or idea into such a powerful role within our lives. We try to protect ourselves by never filling that vacancy, never ceding authority or emotional significance to a "Father". But we have to recognize it for what it is: fear. Fear of what God might do, what disappointment he might inflict, what foolishness he might get us into.
It is exactly the role of Father that casts this fear out. Not the type of father we might have experienced or which we might still dread, but the type of father we were designed to be in relationship with. For those of us with a less-than-perfect family landscape, it is unfamiliar territory but the journey through that territory is one worth making.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. - 1 John 4:18
