Thursday, October 31, 2024
The Prince and the Princesses: Chapter 3
The next morning, all the royal siblings gathered in the bedroom of the youngest princess. They were very surprised because they found a very large turtle under the pillow of the youngest princess.
"We have to do something with that...that reptile" exclaimed the elder princess. "Are they reptiles? Or are they amphibians? Anyway, we need to get it out of here before the king and queen find out."
The royal prince, who was wise in the ways of turtles, stated definitively, "They are reptiles. And I have a plan."
"What?" the princesses exclaimed.
"We just have to sneak the turtle out of the castle and put it back in the moat. The moat is big enough and the moat's water will act to keep it from growing bigger. The same way that goldfish stay small because of the aquarium where they are kept." he said.
The princesses were impressed. "But how can we sneak a turtle the size of an elephant" for that's how big it was now-"out of the castle without someone noticing?" asked the eldest, ever the practical one.
The youngest looked out her window. "Well, that's the moat down there. Couldn't we just tip the turtle out the window and let it fall into the moat?"
"You mean like a high dive?" asked the prince. The princess nodded. "No, that's too high. We're two floors up. It would be like the world's biggest turtle belly flop. And it would really hurt...hey, what is this turtle's name going to be anyway."
"Bob" the youngest pronounced definitively.
"Pfffft. Bob. He'll be embarrassed to just have name like that. Even dogs have a pedigree name that is grand sounding."
"Ok, fine. Beethoven. But I'll just call him Bob for short."
The prince looked a bit confused because "Bob" was actually a girl. But he didn't want to ruin the mood, so he just went with it, figuring that they could sort the whole gender naming and pronoun thing later.
"Anyway, I think she has a good idea, it just needs to be worked on a little." He rushed out of the room and came back with a length of fifty feet of rope. Taking one end, he fashioned a cradle with the pillow under Bob's belly and tied the other end to the door, the very same door they had use to pull the princess' tooth. Working together, they lifted Bob onto the sill of the window.
"Ok, go downstairs. I and your sister will slowly lower Bob down. Then when Bob is near the water, you cut the rope and voila, Bob escapes into the moat and we're good." explained the prince.
The youngest princess ran downstairs, heedless of the fact the scissors do not mix with running. Meanwhile, the prince and eldest princess slowly levered the turtle over the edge, letting out the rope by bits. It was a good thing no one was looking at that side of the castle that day.
At just about the time when Bob was a few feed from the bottom, there was a knock at the youngest princess' door. The prince and eldest princess looked at each other, but they couldn't answer the door without letting go of the rope. So they tried to be quiet, hoping that whoever it was would give and go away. Meanwhile the youngest began to work on the rope to let Bob go, even though he had a few feet to go, trying to get a head start on cutting through the thick ropes.
The knocking persisted and there was a muffled voice and then the same voice louder. The door handle turned and both prince and princess called out "No!" but to no avail. The door opened with a jerk, Bob dropped a few feet with a jerk into the water, the rope smacked the youngest princess on the head, she fell over onto Bob's back, the rope snapped where she had been cutting and they both tipped into the moat. People in the castle speculate that her dip in the moat permanently stunted her growth.
The Prince and the Princesses: Chapter 2
Once upon a time there were two princesses and a prince (whose age was smack in the middle between theirs) who lived in a castle. The youngest princess lost her tooth with the help of her older siblings and, in holding with tradition, placed her tooth under her pillow.
"Maybe the tooth fairy will bring you two silver coins in exchange for your tooth." speculated her brother-the prince.
"Well phooey on that" the princess commented. "50 cents? That's pretty cheap considering all the work we did to get that tooth. I think the tooth fairy needs to up her game."
Her sister-the eldest of the three of them, of a more serious disposition-wasn't to sure that it was a good idea to be complaining or else you might get nothing at all, but she kept her mouth shut.
In the mean time, the youngest went to bed, her head resting on the pillow and went to sleep, dreaming of possible upgrades in the tooth payment department. Now this upgrade led to a debate among the the members of the tooth fairy union, whose job it was to dispense the rewards for lost teeth. Some wanted to give the princess what she wanted. "She is such a precious child. Should not the gift under the pillow reflect how precious she is? Why be stingy? We have the resources." Some wanted to hold the line at two coins. "Otherwise this will lead to tooth payment inflation. Today fifty cents, tomorrow fifty bucks. Besides, who does she think she is, demanding more? Losing teeth is one of the great equalizers among the classes, a common experience that binds all children together regardless of their socioeconomic status. The same two coin award for everybody are a testimony to that truth. Her parents got two coins. Her grandparents got two coins. Heck, Jesus probably got two coins and he had to spend them at the temple for his circumcision ceremony." The debate raged on through the wee hours of the morning, unbeknownst to the princess.
Finally, in the pre-dawn hours, nothing had been done and so the tooth fairy on duty was in something of a bind, because she did not want to leave the sub-pillow space empty. So she flitted around the castle, looking for something, but nothing seemed to fit. Finally, exhausted and somewhat despondent, she sat outside the gates of the castle where the road crossed the drawbridge to allow the tradespeople to enter for the day. Here arms were crossed and her head resting on them over her knees.
In the first rays of the morning sun, she looked up and saw, resting on a small rock in the middle of the moat, a turtle climbing out to sun itself.
She clapped her hands in delight. "Oh how perfect! Not two coins, but a small pet." She coaxed one of the turtles to the shore with the promise of a lettuce snack, put him in a box and started through the castle courtyard to the stairs which led to the royal princesses bedrooms. She didn't realize it, but the waters of the moat were a growth inhibitor. Something in the water kept the turtles from getting bigger, probably a magic spell cast long ago to prevent ecological disaster.
She was just a wee tooth fairy and the turtle was solidly build with yellow stripes down the exposed leathery skin of its head and, unbeknownst to her, was getting bigger and bigger. The stairs were quite a trial, each one requiring a dead lift and a flip. But she persisted, glad for once for all those calisthenics that the tooth fairy academy had insisted on to give her muscles tone. Step by step, she lifted and flipped the box, huffing and puffing the whole way. At the top of the second landing, just outside the youngest princess' door, she collapsing to rest for a bit. The turtle was quite dizzy at this point and the box had acquired holes at each corner because it had been growing the whole way up, its legs with short claws sticking out.
By the time the tooth fairy had managed to get the box to the top of a step stool at the side of the princesses bed, the box was quite damaged and the turtles head was sticking out. The turtle was so big now, maybe the size of a terrier and the box was a shoe box.
This created a new problem, because even when she positioned the turtle next to the princesses pillow and had successfully extracted the tooth from underneath and tucked it away, the turtle wouldn't fit under the pillow without putting her neck at an awkward angle. So she had to gently push the blankets and comforters and extra pillows under her, one side at a time, to lift her up to the same level as the pillow. The tooth fairy was afraid that she would disrupt the princesses sleep and waking the tooth replacement recipient during the tooth exchange was a big no-no--seven years bad luck or something.
However, the princess was sleeping soundly and snoring gently. After convincing the turtle to retreat into its shell, she pushed and pushed to it under the princess' head. By now, the turtle wasn't just the cute little green shelled pet that fit inside a shoe box. Now it was the size of a small sheep or a big dog, well on the way to becoming a giant sea turtle or maybe an elephant turtle. Not that the turtles was vicious (not of the snapping sort). They weren't loud (it couldn't bark or even snuffle). But it was big.
But the tooth fairy rubbed her hands together, a job well done. "Exchange complete." And not just two coins, but a turtle--a magic growing turtle. So she left the princess' room to report her status.
The Prince and the Princesses: Chapter 1
Once upon a time, there were a prince and two princesses who lived in a castle. One time, the youngest princess-who was darling, precocious and very well spoken for her age-had a tooth that was loose. It was an upper tooth, just next to her eye tooth. In her mind this was a critical stage in her growing up because, her older royal siblings had a full complement of front teeth, having lost the most important ones which lined their smile long ago. Now it was her turn.
There was just one problem: the tooth would not come out, no matter how she tugged at it or wiggled it. Thus her smile was lopsided and, honestly, a bit pitiful and that was one thing she couldn't tolerate: looking pitiful.
Testing that tooth with her finger, the eldest princess--a cute, serious young royal with a wacky streak--concluded, "Yep. It's not coming out any time soon. Stuck there like a bad piece of bubble gum under the desk."
"Oh no!" cried the youngest, stomping her right foot. "That's it. I'm not going to be in any portraits and attend any galas then. I look weird and they are boring anyway."
The eldest princess and the prince--a handsome and clever lad--tried with no success to convince her that it wasn't such a big deal, but the young princess had a bit of a stubborn streak and when she was convinced, she was convinced.
Sitting on the edge of the princess's bed, the prince sat deep in thought. After a while, he looked around the room, which had a high bed, dresser, mirror, a sitting area and vases filled with fresh blooms and said, "What we need is leverage."
"What?" said the eldest and the two of them had a quick head-to-head conference of whispered words. When they were finished, the eldest grabbed the young princess's shoulders and moved her to the middle of the room. Meanwhile, the prince extracted a long piece of yarn from the knitting basket in the sitting area. Holding one end, he pulled open the ornate door that marked the entrance the youngest's bedroom, then tied the line of yarn to the door's lion's head handle and stretched it to the youngest's right ear, where, with a quick snip of scissors extracted from some vest pocket, cut it.
The young princess looked on all of this with growing suspicion, especially when the prince told her to open her mouth wide "like a yawn" "What are you going to do?"
"Well," said the royal prince, in his best imitation of their tutor's voice, "The tooth won't come out. It is stuck in there like a green twig on a tree. We can get it out, but we need to pull harder. So we'll tie this string to your tooth and then your sister will slam the door like she does when she's really mad. Then, 'Pop!' it will pull the tooth right out of there."
"Won't it hurt?" she asked, doubtfully.
"Just for a sec. Like taking off a band-aid." said the eldest princess.
"Yeah." said the prince helpfully. "Or a bee sting!"
"You are not helping." pouted the youngest. Then, with resolve, she said "But let's do it. I want to move this tooth regrowth thing along so I am closer to my beautiful smile and less like a lop-sided goblin."
So the prince tied the yarn to the loose tooth, positioned her so that the line was tense and then nodded to the eldest, who stood next to the door. He counted "1, 2 and....3" and she slammed the door with the force of a hurricane. The line went taut and then slack as the tooth flew from her mouth, bounced off the floor, the desk, dresser, chandelier and her sister before finally coming to rest in a candy dish. The prince walked over and wiped the newly extracted tooth with a tissue and then held it aloft, "Behold, the tooth!"
It was only then that he noticed the eldest was holding her face, where a welt was growing red on her forehead. "Hey, no fair biting." she grumped.
"Ahhh, sorry." said the younger. "I'll get you an ice cream." she said, and hugged her sister.
"Hey, what about me?" asked the prince.
"Oh, you can have some too!"
Wednesday, October 30, 2024
The Tales of Fred and George: Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Fred was green and long, like a rather thin piece of vine-a snake. George was wide, flat with dark green hexagons inscribed on his shell with beige borders-a turtle. From the time that they spent together, you might assume they were close friends. Yes, go on assuming that.
Today, Fred was feeling unappreciated. Even though he was a fully-grown snake, it never seemed like the other animals along the river bank noticed him as much as he liked. There were some, like Bernadette, the red racer who slithered from upriver, whom he would dearly like to impress.
What could a snake like Fred do? Well, he could ask his friends. Or rather, his friend. Or rather, George. He could depend on George. It was George, after all, who had remembered his birthday. It was George who was always nearby and who was rarely-well, never, really-angry with him.
He would like some more friends. Really, he would! But it never happened. They were polite, but you could not say that their relationship was warm. “Maybe they do not want to be friends because I am a snake.” wondered Fred to himself. “Yes, because I am cold-blooded! Well, that is sort of rude!. They assume that because I am a reptile that it means that I am unfriendly.”
He mused to himself, his tongue flickering thoughtfully in and out as he thought about his problem. “Why do people want to be friends anyway? George seems to have lots of friends. Bob and Chuck are always coming over to chomp on the greens and discuss-very slowly-the latest gossip. Why does he have so many friends and I have none.”
Then he had an idea. It was so simple really. “If I was famous or important, then people would want to be my friends so that, if I was famous, they would be kind of famous, too! So, how can I be famous? Well, what do famous people look like?”
He slithered down the bank, through the roots of the trees, along the rounded river stones that marked the river’s edge, to where George was sunning himself on a log.
‘George! George! I have a question.”
George’s eyes were both shut, but when Fred asked the question one of his eyes opened and then the other.
“George, wake up! I have a question.” Fred asked, his voice so excited by his thoughts.
“Yes, Fred, what is your question?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking. What do famous people do? I mean how do other people know that they are famous?” Fred asked.
George thought about it. In fact, he thought about it for so long that Fred thought maybe he had discovered a new talent for sleeping with his eyes open. But he knew George’s habits and was willing to wait a little bit longer. Finally, George blinked and then blinked again and then turned his head to look Fred in the eye. Finally, he spoke.
“Well, if a person is famous, he or she is in a parade.”
“A parade?” Fred asked. His brain was already full of ideas.
George stretched out one of his front legs, and then the other. “Yes, Fred. They get dressed up and they are carried through the people. The people clap their hands and cheer and they wave. That is what famous people do.”
“Excellent! Excellent!” exclaimed Fred. “We must have a parade.” And he slithered away to make his plans.
The next morning, when the leaves were changing color in the early sunlight, Fred positioned piece of wood so that it balanced on George’s back. Then he wriggled so that his head lifted the shiniest, glossiest leaf which he had made into a sort of pointy cap on his head. Then, raising his head above the ground he maneuvered himself, using only his tail, up on George’s back and then up onto the piece of wood.
“Hup!” he shouted to George. George knew that was his signal and started to walk along the river bank.
“Hello, friends.” Fred called out to a pair of chipmunks who rested on the bark of a fir tree. They nodded their heads at him and he nodded back.
“Ho, Bob and Chuck. See how I am riding on George’s back? Isn’t it amazing!” Bob and Chuck were so surprised by the sight of a snake riding on a turtle’s back that they could not never speak and their mouth hung open.
And so they continued down the path, passing animal after animal. Some greeted Fred and it made him smile. Others ignored him and he made rude remarks about them. A few made fun of him and he pretended that he did not hear them.
But then he saw Bernadette. She was the snake with most beautiful red stripes down her sides and her eyes were like pools of infinite depth. He wanted eager to impress her, so he pulled himself even straighter and checked that the leaf was sitting on his head correctly.
“Hello, Bernadette. How stunning you look today.”
“Why, hello yourself, Fred. I see that you convinced George to give you a ride. And what is that on your head.”
“It was George himself who told me that famous people often have parades.”
“And what is that on your head?” she asked, coming closer to inspect more carefully.
“Well, George told me that famous people often wear new things-things that other people don’t wear but later copy.”
“You really listened to George carefully. I have no doubt, my silly Fred, that everyone will remember what you did today.” she laughed. “They will talk about you and tell their children and their children’s children the story of Fred’s parade.”
It was at that moment that a fox scampered out from brush near the bend in the river. George seldom moved quickly, but he was so surprised that he jerked to the left and plunged into the cool depths of the river, carrying Fred with him. A few moments later, Fred came to the surface, spluttering, his tongue pushing drops of water away from his mouth. Fortunately, all the other animals had scattered and did not see him slither out of the shallow water on to the shore. They didn’t see his leafy hat all sideways and covering one eye.
“George! George!” he cried out. “Did you hear that? She said ‘my silly Fred’! I am so happy!” But George had swum away down the river.
